run over - ruel vandijk

• it's nice to have a friend •

i'm still leaning on the door when i wake up.
i probably dreamt about him.
i slowly stand up, legs wobbling, and head to my room.
it was 4 am.
yeah i ain't getting back to sleep.
i get dressed for school even though it doesn't start for another few hours.

i pull on my uniform and do my hair in two braids. i stare at myself in the mirror.
i've gotten so skinny over the last few years. people would think it's a good thing, loosing weight, but it's really because i've been starving myself.

i sit on my bed and look out the window. the sun barely noticeable behind the trees.

i then see a figure walk up to my door.
they stand there for a moment and then shake their head and walk off.

the streetlight illuminates the person as they go under it.
it was ruel.

what was he doing?

he turns a corner and then he's gone.

i look away from the window and head downstairs.
i run out of my house and turn the corner where i last saw him.

i continue to walk, searching for him until i find myself at the park.

i walk in and see him sitting down, alone at a bench.
i quietly walk up to him and sit down slowly next to him.

"what are you doing?" we both ask each other at the same time.
he smiles at me and i return a small one.

neither of us say anything for a while.
we just watch the sun slowly rise from behind a hill in the distance.

"so, um... i saw you walk up to my house before, then walk away." i whisper just so he could hear, even though no one was around.

"yeah." he mumbles.

"why did you?"

he turns and stares into my eyes, "i don't know. i thought you might be awake, since you seem to be always up late or super early, and i wanted to talk to you about something but then i knew you wouldn't want to-"

"ruel." i cut him off, "it's okay, i understand, what do you want to talk about?"

he sighs and looks back at the small sunrise, "i just want to know if you're okay."

i look down at my feet, "yeah i am-"

"no you're not." he interrupts me, "i saw you crying when you came out of the bathrooms-"

"i was tired-"

"no you weren't. and the other day when i saw you on the road. something was up okay i understand if you can't tell me but-"

"i'm sorry." i stand up walking away, i can't do this. he cares for me and i like him but i can't. i shouldn't like him.
i promised myself that i wouldn't have friends or fall in love or anything. it was just a coincidence that sam was at my school.

"y/n, wait." ruel shouts as i turn and face him again.

i look into his beautiful eyes, "ruel, i can't...i don't..." tears form in my eyes, "...i don't know what's happening to me...before all this i could control all my emotions and i never cried...and now all i do is cry..."

ruel doesn't say anything, he just pulls me into a hug. he rests his chin on top of my head and i cry into his chest.

"y/n?" he whispers.

"mm?" i reply pulling away from the hug and wipe my tears away.

"friends?" he smiles slightly.

i close my eyes and think for a long moment. i can't i can't i can't i can't.
but oh how i want to.

i open my eyes and force a smile. "friends." i say confirming it.

he smiles a huge smile and it made me want to smile.

but i broke my promise.

he walks me home and we chat about school tomorrow, what subjects we have and so on.
it felt so good to have another friend in my life. especially if that friend was ruel.

he walks me up to my door -just like yesterday after school.

he looks at me once more before he heads home himself.

i walk inside and flop onto my bed.
it was almost 5am.
i looked at my ceiling for a while and then sat up.
i graves my notebook from inside my bedside table and started writing another song.

it's nice to have a friend.

i smile at the finish product. it is nice to have a friend.
i check the clock, 7:30am.
i swing my backpack over my shoulder and walk out the door to be faced with another day at school.

a/n:
hey hey hey!
yeah i know i said i would do billie eilish songs but who cares, i'll through some other artists in.
anywho, thank you for reading we're almost at 500 reads. whaaat? i still can't thank you enough.
if you're reading this right now, please comment your favourite ruel song.
love you xx