run over - ruel vandijk

• sunset talks •

*big time skip rip*

it's been about a month since i started touring with rueL and i'm so grateful i even got the chance to. i've almost gotten 10k followers and i put out an ep! ruel has helped me so much and i could never thank him enough.

i'm on the beach watching the sunset with ruel. there's no one else here and the sea is calm and still. tomorrow is sams funeral.

i look at ruel, he's gazing out at the ocean, the orange sun lighting up his face. he looks at me and smiles softly.

"what are you thinking about." i whispered to him.

"life." he says plainly looking back out at the ocean.

"what about life." i flick sand off my lap.

"just how lucky i got." he's still looking at the ocean, "not just with my career and everything but i'm lucky i have you. i still think about how hard it was for you to open up to me and to let me in and everything. sometimes i think you don't like me anymore because i still feel like you're fading away and i want to help i really do. i just...i just don't know...i'm sorry."

i look at the sand. i dig my feet in till i cant see them, "i do like you ruel. in fact i love you. i might be fading away but i'll never fade away from you. i'm scared ruel. i just don't know anymore. i don't know how i feel. it's empty and there's this huge hole. and everyone i love is out of the hole but i keep falling down everyday and i don't-"

"then let me help." i feel his eyes on me but i don't look at him, "let me help you, please."

"there's nothing you can do." tears start to form in my eyes.

i hear him sigh and he hugs his knees to his chest, his eyes are still on me, "please. there must be something."

"no. ruel, i can't...unless you can bring him back, you can't help." a tear falls and i wipe it away hoping he doesn't notice.

"just let me be there. let me hold you while you fall down the hole...let me...let me fall down with you. i'll always be here. please, i need you."

"i'm sorry." and that breaks me, the tears fall down faster and i can't hold them back, "crap...sorry...i-"

ruel pulls me into a hug, "don't apologise. i get it, it's hard to ask for help, it's hard to let people in and let people know how you feel. i just hate seeing you upset and i want to help. and i can wait...i can wait til you're ready for me to help i will."

i break the hug and meet his eyes, "thank you. i just...no one's really offered to help before and i was so happy a couple of months ago when i was over...everything and i just don't think i can get through tomorrow."

"i will help you."

"no ruel you-"

"i will." he kisses me softly on the lips and lies me down on his lap.

"thank you." the last tear falls and he starts playing with my hair as the sun finally sets.

* * *

i wake up in ruels bed. he wasn't there but the sun blinding my face certainly was.

i roll out of bed and find one of ruels hoodies and throw it on. i walk down stairs and smell coffee. i smile to myself, yes, coffee is what i need.

coco's in the kitchen pouring her coffee when the water spills everywhere. she curses loudly.

i laugh, "good morning coco."

she looks up, "oh my gosh, hi. i'm sorry."

"oh don't be." i walk over to her, "here let me help."

"oh thanks!"

i grab a cloth and start cleaning up while she makes another coffee.

"would you like one?"

"yes please."

she gets out another mug and smirks and ruels hoodie, "yeah you're gonna be in trouble."

"what?"

"that's ruels favourite hoodie." she laughs to herself.

"yeah, well, he loves me more than it so."

"oh does he now?" coco smiles and hands me my coffee.

i roll my eyes and take my coffee to the couch.

"where's ruel?" i call out to coco.

"uhhh....oh, mum sent him to the shops to get bread."

"okay! thanks."

"no worries." she walks up stairs.

i get out my phone and the time flashes. jeez i have to be at the funeral in 3 hours.

a wave of emotions hits me like a bus. i'm not ready. i'm not ready. i cant. no. my heart starts to race and i panic.

no. i don't think i can do this.

tears well up in my eyes and my heart beats faster. i start to shake and i feel sick.

i hear ruel come home and see him run to me. but everything is blurry and i can't understand what's happening. then it goes black.

a/n:

wow this chapter hit all the emotions oop. hope y'all are doing ok with everything that's happening. staying inside i hope! btw didn't edit this cause i didn't have time dont sue me ah