A/B/O || Jinkook

5. Adjusting

A few weeks have passed and I'm somewhat getting used to life as an alpha. For most part not much has changed. I'm still the same person I've always been... haha. Totally the same... it's just that I'm stronger, a little taller, get angry a lot easier, can smell alphas and omegas, accidentally use my commanding alpha voice to order people around, bite my tongue all the time because my fangs are growing out, become possessive of everything I own, am more competitive over mundane things, have a lot less patience for everything, and not to mention that my sexual desires have skyrocketed and gotten harder to deal with. Literally harder to deal with. 

I'd do anything to be normal like the others. Even though they don't say anything about it I know they think I'm annoying, and personally I know how much of an asshole I am most of the time even though I try to keep it in. I used to look down on alphas who were mean and greedy, but I realize now how difficult it is to control yourself. Of course it's not an excuse, but it's part of the reason. 

The one good think I can think of that's happened since I presented as an alpha is that I've caught up to everyone else on the swimming team. I gain muscle mass easier and it's improved my performance. Too bad it's also made me a sore loser every time someone is better than me, especially since most of them are alphas.

I'm thankful that my hyungs are betas because that means I don't have to deal with any scents or competitions at home. Technically I'm the head of the pack since I'm the only alpha, but it's already been quietly decided years ago that Namjoon is the leader. I don't want to start any fights, and I don't even want to be a leader in the first place but my instincts make me do and think things I don't actually agree with. 

I've started meditating and spending more and more time alone so that I don't mess with people on accident. The meditation helps me calm my nerves and clear my head. In time I'll hopefully be able to regain the control over myself and become who I used to be again. 

I'm in the middle of a meditation session on the couch when I suddenly hear loud swearing from the bathroom.

"FUCK. FUCK. FUCK." From the sound of it it's Seokjin.

I take a deep breath and get up to see what's going on. I knock gently on the door and the cursing stops abruptly.

"Jin-hyung, are you alright?" I ask.

A painful silence ensues after my question, and just as I begin to panic that something bad actually happened Seokjin answers.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing for you to worry about," he says dismissively.

"OK, if you say so," I reply, but I'm still not convinced. 

Although I know it wrong and frankly a bit creepy, I pretend to walk away only to quietly sneak back and put my ear against the door. It's quiet aside from Seokjin's heavy breathing. I'm about to accept that he's just taking a dump or something, but right then a hushed voice starts speaking on the other side of the door.

"Hello? Yes, it's me. I'm all out."

There's a short silence where both Seokjin and I are listening intensely, until he starts talking again, sounding pretty desperate but still remembering to keep his voice down. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I don't care about the time limits! We've already passed it years ago either way! How am I supposed to life my life without it?! I have a future to think about, also don't you know that I'm living with-"

I press my ear harder against the door when Seokjin goes quiet. What is he talking about and who is he talking to?

"Exactly. It's dangerous either way. Prolong the prescription and make sure I get them as soon as humanly possible. We'll both be in trouble if you don't."