A/B/O || Jinkook

47. Family meeting nr. 4

It's been a week since Seokjin kicked me out. I've been staying with the others upstairs but not even that feels normal since I'm just sleeping on the floor in Yoongi's room. I don't have a proper bed since I sold my old one when I moved out. Sometimes I steal Yoongi's bed when I know he's out working until morning. It's where I'm at right now. I'm just lying in his bed feeling shitty like usual. 

I don't have the strength or will to do anything. I just lie here staring at the roof all day. The others force me to go to school in the mornings but I can't pay attention in class either way. I perform horribly during training too. As soon as I get in the water I feel like I'm drowning. Instead of floating I sink like a rock. I tried staying down on the bottom one time, just to see if I'd actually die or not, but the coach noticed and jumped in to save me before I had the chance to even lose consciousness. After that he told me to either get my head in the game or quit and at that point I just walked out. I can't get my head in the game even if I so desperately want to. I don't know if I'm kicked from the team or not. Haven't gone there in a couple days now. 

What does it matter anyway? I'll never make it to the Olympics. It's four years away. I'll be dead way before then probably. Every time I think about Seokjin I feel my heart slowing down and my body numbs away for a moment. And that's scary since I think about him a lot. I just can't stop. He's on my mind constantly and part of me doesn't want him to go away either. I can't see him in real life so if I stop thinking about him then I'll have nothing left. He'll just be something that my brain made up. A dream that never happened. 

It's even worse to think that everything with him actually happened and I screwed it up. I had everything I ever wanted and more. Now I have nothing but this ring on my finger as a constant reminder of what could've been. I look at the golden band for what feels like the millionth time and as always I start crying. I figured I'd run out of tears eventually, but a week later and I'm still going. 

I hear steps outside in the hallway and after a quick knock Namjoon peeks in through the door.

"Dinner is re- Oh my God, are you seriously crying again?"

I roll over to my side to not have to look at him. I know I cry a lot but it's still embarrassing when I get caught.

"Ugh, leave me alone. I'll eat later."

"No, you're coming with me to the kitchen right now. We're having a meeting."

"About what?"

"About you. Let's go."

He walks into the others' rooms to tell them about the meeting and I slowly get out of bed. We all gather up around the kitchen table, each sitting on his regular chair. My eyes wander across the table and aside from Yoongi's chair that's obviously empty since he's at work, there's another empty one. It's Seokjin's. The thought of him not being here for a family meeting is surprisingly upsetting. He's probably downstairs alone in the cold. At least I hope he's alone. He said he'd go ahead and fuck whoever he wanted, so maybe he's invited someone over. It's totally possible and there's nothing I can do about it.

I burst out crying again and hide my face in my hands. 

"Bruh, seriously? You start crying over chairs now?" Taehyung says. 

"I know it's stupid but I can't help it. Everything reminds me of him."

"And this is exactly why I called this meeting," Namjoon says. "Jungkook, we all love you and we get that you're sad about Seokjin, but you gotta stop crying already, man. What about alpha pride and all that stuff?"

"There's no pride left when your mate rejects you," I sob. 

"But don't you have any plans on trying to win him back? Prove that you're a changed man? Just moping all day will solve nothing. It's starting to affect the rest of us too."