resurrect | h.s

part one

Lydia White

Today is the day I've been dreading for months. September 23rd.

Today marks one year since Harry's death.

I remember the position I was in this time last year. I remember exactly how I felt and what was going through my head.

I was distraught and heartbroken, and I walked from the King's headquarters to the beach. I sat on that sand for hours, watching the trees blow and the water move slowly, listening to Harry's voicemail over and over. I didn't want to leave because that's where I thought Harry was.

Eliza eventually found me and brought me back to her place. Liam had gone missing, and when she found out she screamed and she cried and totally broke down. We were both sat on her living room floor, crying messes.

It took me a week to even leave Eliza's place again. I ended up staying with my parents, who were also completely heartbroken over Harry. I told them he was in a car accident. My mom and dad took care of me everyday until I managed to get back on my feet.

I got a new job at a library. I work with books everyday and get to read them for free. And, after about six months, I bought another apartment.

One bedroom, one bathroom. It was just what I needed. I'm still working on buying a car. I don't have the money yet, but the library is literally a ten minute walk from my new apartment, so it's not a huge hassle.

Having to walk home at night for the first time after my first shift was admittedly sort of terrifying. I didn't know who was still out there, and I didn't have Harry to protect me anymore.

But I haven't been touched. Not for a year. It was bittersweet.

I was safe, but Harry was gone.

I still think about him everyday. I loved him and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but now I won't get the chance. He told me he wanted me to grow and move on, so that's what I'm trying to do. I had one piece of him with me. The ring. I never took it off, and I vowed to myself that I never would.

Eliza had her baby four months ago, on May 30th. A little boy. He looks exactly like Liam.

I went with her to every appointment. She decided on keeping the baby the week after the attack happened, because it would be a piece of Liam she'd have forever. I was by her side when she gave birth. I remember her face when she saw her baby for the first time and held him in her arms. It was like something in her clicked, and she's been an incredible mother ever since.

She named him Elijah. Elijah Liam Payne. 10 lbs, brown eyes, mother's nose and father's mouth and chin.

I wish Liam could've been here to meet his son. I knew, deep down, that he would have been a great father.

The past year has taught me a lot. I've learned to hold on and appreciate every moment with the people in my life, because they could be gone any second.

I've learned a lot about myself as well. I'm a stronger version of myself. I'm more independent. I just wish Harry were here to see it.

I miss him so much. Not a day goes by that I don't wish he were here.

I was finishing my shift at the library tonight, it was around 10 pm.