[LISAxIU] I'm In Charge

Chapter 41: Moon

Lisa Pov

Give her a chance?

She wants me to give her a chance?

Even though I told her I love the person I am with now. Then how about me?

My hands balled, as my brows creased with disbelief. I took a deep breath as I look into the eyes of the person who I thought cares about me.

But it happened that she never actually did.

"How about my feelings?"

I asked her, that startled her.

"Do you know that sunbae pushed me to follow you? even though it would hurt her, it's because she cares for me, Jen. She didn't care if she lose me if I follow you, the only thing that she thinks of is, for me to be happy." I blurted out, as face enveloped with pain. Because all these years I gave her myself, she's all that I've cared for. Then the only time I'll ask for my own happiness, she'll push herself to me. And ignore my feelings.

"Jieun cares so much about my feelings before her own. Despite her not being with me for years like you do? But why can't you do the same? Why can't you let go of me?"

I muttered, asking her so many questions at once. Because I'm so disappointed.

"Because it's hard. You're asking me too much Lice."

She answered me while her tears continue to stream down her face. But mine mirrors her, because I'm hurting so much. That I could no longer hold it anymore.

"Too much, but this is the first time Jen. The only time I would ask you to be selfless for me. I know how hard it is, have you forgotten how many times I did it for you?!" I exclaimed, that took her aback.

She gasped, and her body stiffened in response.

"There's so much. That I'm almost immune to it. I was always there when you had your first boyfriend, even if I told you he's a jerk you didn't listen. I can't stand seeing you sad that I had to swallow my pride and tell you that's he's fine and stop calling him jerk even he's really a fucking jerk from head to foot. Then your second boyfriend, that library boy, you think he's perfect well you're wrong he just wanted to get in your pants and when he did he boasted it to the whole campus, I was fucking mad back then that I am just inches away from crushing him into pieces, but what did you just ask me to do?"

I asked, after my voice started to get hoarse. And loud as I let out all my frustrations.

Jennie became silent, she can only lower her head and cover her mouth while whimpering.

"You stopped me! You got mad of me instead of him." I muttered with every sob. And with every memory that came back, my chest tightens. God, I'm fucking mad.

"Lisa, please. I just don't want you to hit people, the first time you did it you almost kill someone. You just don't understand, I'm selfish I know. You have all the rights to get mad at me, but it doesn't mean I didn't care for you at all."

I snorted.

"Is that how you care for me? You may have protected me physically, but the damage you caused me emotionally is much worse Jen."

My jaw clenched, as I saw her took a deep breath and lowered her head.

"I have to go Nini. I really need to go back to her, I don't want to lose her. Please."

I begged her, but she refuses to look at me. "Then go.", instead she answer me short.

Which is much terrible. Than not looking back at me.