The Tattoo on my Heart

11. If not for that day

BANG!! BANG!!

"OPEN UP!! WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG TO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR??" Namjoon yelled, banging at the door. 

Taehyung was terrified to open the door. He realized that Yoongi must still be searching for Namjoon. He quickly felt his way to the door and opened it with shaking hands. He could see the blur of a figure standing in front of him and could smell the strong stench of alcohol. He stretched his hands out to hold onto Namjoon and tried to bring him to the couch.

"W-What a'e you doing? Lemme go! I can go myselfff" he slurred as he fought Taehyung's grip and stumbled towards the couch. Tears ran down Taehyung's face as he tried to remember where he left his phone the last time he used it. He felt his way into the bedroom and tried to find his phone on the bedside table. 

"Hey Siri, call Yoongi hyung" he said.

"Hello? Taehyung? I still didn't find him. I will get him home, don-" "H-Hyung h-he came home. He is on the c-couch right now. I am afraid he will start something again, hyung! I can deal with him if he cries, b-but I can't deal with him if he gets violent again, hyung. Please get back fast!" he cried.

"Yeah, yeah, I am already on the way. Give me five minutes" Yoongi said and hung up.

Just then, he heard a loud crash. He rushed back to the living room and tried to approach his brother, stepping on a broken piece of glass in the process. 

"Ahh" he blurted, but ignored it and wrapped his arms around Namjoon. "I know you are hurting, hyung. But please, stop. You are really scaring me" he said, holding on tight as Namjoon fought his grip. 

"LEAVE ME!! LET ME GO!! WHY DO YOU STILL HOLD ON TO ME? I AM LITERALLY THE MOST USELESS PERSON IN THIS WHOLE WORLD. I AM THE WORST BEST FRIEND A PERSON CAN EVER HAVE! HECK, I AM THE WORST BROTHER YOU CAN EVER HAVE!! OH GOD, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IN YOUR PLACE!! I FAILED YOU AS A BROTHER, I FAILED HOSEOK AS A FRIEND, I FAILED MOM AS HER SON....I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!" he yelled as he threw another vase onto the wall. 

"HYUNG!! STOP!! YOU ARE THE BEST BROTHER I CAN EVER HAVE. I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE, EITHER. AND DON'T EVER SAY THAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU INSTEAD OF ME BECAUSE NO ONE DESERVES TO BE LIKE THIS. SO STOP, HYUNG!! PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF LIKE THIS!" Taehyung yelled as well, trying in vain to wipe the tears that ran down his face continuously. 

"Tae!" Yoongi gasped. "What the hell? Why is the living room full of glass?? Why are there bloodied footsteps all around?? Namjoon, are you hurt??" he asked, rushing towards the two brothers. 

"Oh god, Taehyung! What happened? Why are your feet bleeding?" he asked frantically. Namjoon gasped and held on to his brother and started crying with big, ugly tears running down his face. 

He brought his brother to the couch and gently wrapped his arms around him and patted his head. Yoongi left to clean the room and get first aid for Taehyung's feet. 

"I am so sorry, Taehyung. I know it is my fault. No matter what you say, it really is! I-I don't even deserve your love. No matter how much you try, I always end up getting drunk. I always keep failing the people around me. If I hadn't gone out with Sejin that day, you would have called me to pick you up instead of calling dad. The whole thing could have been completely avoided if not for me. Even now I hurt you. I always keep hurting you....."

"Hyung, please! What happened has happened. There is no use thinking about it and beating yourself up. Please! I don't blame you! No one blames you! I promise!" Taehyung said.

"No, Tae. If only I had come that day, you would have been a normal adult now. Dad would have been alive. He would have been happy by now. We all would have been happily enjoying ourselves. I would have been married. So many lives got ruined by me. All because I was selfish enough to ignore all of you and go out on a date. 

I am soo sorry, Hoseok.....I failed you........you would have been here with me........If not for that day............you would have been alive till now......" Namjoon trailed off as he fell asleep in his brother's arms with tears still running down his face.