The Tattoo on my Heart

47. Can't lose you

Jungkook sat in front of Taehyung's bed while Namjoon stood behind him. Seokjin, Yoongi, Jimin and Ju were standing next to Namjoon. 

The doctor slowly unwrapped the bandage. They could see Taehyung clenching and unclenching his hands repeatedly as he waited for the bandages to come undone. 

Jungkook kept looking as the love of his life slowly blinked his eyes open and waited for them to adjust. His eyes first landed on Namjoon. 

Taehyung grinned before lowering his gaze to Jungkook. Jungkook didn't understand why Taehyung was looking at him with uncertainty. He soon realized that he didn't recognize him. 

"Tae!" he called out and it took a millisecond for Taehyung to jump out of his bed and run to Jungkook's lap and shower his face with kisses. 

He then took hold of the Jungkook's face and cupped it in his hands. "Don't mind me" he whispered and sat there, staring at his fiance and taking in every feature of his face. 

He then looked at everyone else and recognized Yoongi and Ju. He ran to them and hugged them before turning to the other two. "Jimin" Jimin said and ran to him and threw himself on him. 

Jungkook chuckled as his cousin did the same thing. "Jin" Seokjin said before hugging the him. Taehyung couldn't control his tears anymore. He let them out freely. There wasn't a single dry eye in the room. 

"Can we go back?" Jungkook asked the doctor. "Yeah, they are discharging him as we speak" the doctor said. "We are going for a ride on my bike" Jungkook told Taehyung, who nodded his head vigorously. They went back home in two different cabs. 

Jungkook ran to his flat and brought his bike keys. "Let's go" he dragged Taehyung and sat on his bike. "Helmet?" Taehyung asked. "You are riding the bike for the first time in two years and you want a helmet blocking your free view?" Jungkook asked. "No, no" Taehyung shook his head and climbed behind Jungkook happily. 

Jungkook hit the highway and soon, they were speeding up. Taehyung was singing opera as loud as he could. They didn't care about the weird glances they got from the people passing by in cars. They didn't care that Jungkook was over-speeding. They didn't care that neither of them had their helmets. 

Jungkook threw his head back and laughed as Taehyung sang a particularly funny line. He brought his head back down, but it was too late. He swerved his bike to the left to avoid a puppy on the road, but it was too late and they were too fast. 

The bike skidded and the two of them hit the divider. 

While Jungkook shielded his fall with his hand, Taehyung hit his head on the flower pots that were lined on the divider. Jungkook felt a sharp pain jolt through his right hand and leg. He was sure he broke them. Taehyung, on the other side, lost consciousness as soon as he hit the pot. 

"Tae?.........Tae, wake up, Tae.....please don't do this to me.....Tae....Tae....please, Tae" he kept trying to wake his fiance up, but he didn't respond in any way. Jungkook placed his finger under Taehyung's nose and felt very faint breathing. 

He saw people around him, trying to help them and call the ambulance. But he had only one thought in his mind. 'THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!! HE CANNOT DIE!!' 

"TAE!! WAKE UP, TAE.......PLEASE.....TAE, TAE.........LET GO OF ME!!!........TAE, WAKE UP....." he pleaded and soon, heard the sound of an ambulance. 

They shifted them into the vehicle. Two of the paramedics worked on his leg and hand while two of them worked on fixing Taehyung to an oxygen tank. 

He didn't take his eyes off Taehyung, who kept turning paler and paler with every passing second. "No, no, no, no, no, no, we are losing him....DO SOMETHING!!" the paramedic yelled, sending a chill down Jungkook's spine. 

Another paramedic got the ECT machine and shocked him. They did it thrice before giving up on him and looking at Jungkook with sad eyes. Jungkook looked frantically between Taehyung and the paramedics, who simply stood aside without doing anything for his fiance. 

It took a minute for Jungkook to realize that Taehyung was gone. He jolted from his seat and tried to get to Taehyung. He fell in the process, but didn't mind it. "TAE!! YOU FUCKER!! YOU CAN'T DIE ON ME!!! DON'T LEAVE ME, TAEHYUNG!! TAE, TAE...... TAEEEE-..."

Jungkook jolted awake with sweat pouring down his face as he gasped for air. His lungs were blocking the small amount of air that passed through his throat, which was constricting rapidly. 

He looked around and found himself on the bed in Ju's room. He realized that none of this happened yet, and that he was still in Ju's house. He realized that the table was opposite to the table and that he had to walk to the table to get his inhaler and some water.

He tilted his head back and tried taking in more air. But his throat constricted more, allowing zero amount of oxygen through it. 

To make matters worse, the picture of Taehyung's dead body was still clear and livid in his mind, making him lose focus on trying to breathe. 

He could still hear the rain outside. 

He felt his eyes roll back into his head. He fought it and tried to get out of the bed and get to the table.

He tried calling Ju, but nothing came out of his throat. He could feel the sweat running down his face as he tried to get oxygen through his nose or mouth once again. 

He got out of the bed, but his legs gave out the second he stood up, and he fell on his face, knocking the remaining air out of his lungs. 

At this point, he had no way to get up and get to the table. 

But he tried. 

He tried crawling to the table and it worked. He placed his hand on the table and groped for the inhaler, all the while wheezing and gasping for the air that his lungs and throat refused to accept.

He felt the water glass first. He tried to lift it, but his hands wouldn't grip the glass. He moved it to the corner of the table so that he could hold it with both of his hands, but it crashed to the ground. 

He hoped Ju would wake up from the sound, but the glass had crashed on the carpet, which muffled the sound to a great extent. And Ju had said that sounds weren't easily audible and that he had to be loud. 

He realized that this sound wasn't enough to wake her up.

He was already losing his consciousness as he tried to find his inhaler on the table. He groped for almost five minutes, still trying his best to get some air in, but nothing worked. 

He used all of his strength to hold on to the table and tried to stand up so that he could search for his inhaler with his own eyes. 

The inhaler was on the far corner of the table. 

He realized that he might have unknowingly pushed it while groping for it. But as soon as he let go of the table to reach for it, his legs gave out again and he fell down, this time knocking the air out of his lungs completely.

He could feel the exact second when oxygen completely stopped entering his throat. 

'This is it. This is the end. Rain has never done me any good' he thought as tears leaked out of his eyes. 

He thought of Taehyung and Seokjin. He loved them more than anything. 

He knew that fighting for air only made things worse. So he laid there, staring at the ceiling and gasping every few seconds. 

But nothing went in. 

He simply waited for the inevitable, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the windowpane. 

'Good bye, everyone. I love you, Tae. I am sorry for not keeping my promise. I can't be the first person you see' he thought, feeling his soul leak out of his body.