The Tattoo on my Heart

24. Those ugly sobs

Jungkook sat there for almost an hour, thinking about those two tragic days in his life. He first tried to fight those thoughts away, but slowly gave in to his mind and let it take control of him.

He thought about his boyfriend. He thought about his death. He thought about the call he received that night as he came back from the hospital. He remembered the chaos he caused after receiving the call. 

He remembered the funeral and how people had to literally hold him up so that he didn't collapse on the ground. He remembered all those days he spent locked up in his room, with no one around him to console him. 

He remembered the day Seokjin burst into his flat, claiming that enough shit happened. He remembered how Seokjin convinced him into moving with him. 

He then remembered all those sweet memories he had with his boyfriend. 

He remembered the time they started dating......their first kiss.....their first 'it'.........the time they realized that they loved each other.......the day Hoseok 'mock' proposed and he 'mock' accepted.......the day he came out to his parents......

He realized that he had to move on. Even though it was going to be hard, he realized that Hoseok wasn't going to come back. 

He didn't notice someone sitting beside him and putting a hand around him. 'I love you, Hobi hyung. Please don't misunderstand me. I love you soo much. But I don't think I can keep lying to myself anymore. Please forgive me, baby' he thought. 

He suddenly froze, finally noticing that someone was rubbing his back silently. Even though it was going to be very tough moving on from him, he accepted the fact that he was gone. 

And then came the dirty waterworks. 

...................................

"Hyung! Where is Jungkook?" Taehyung asked. "On the bench. Crying to himself. Let him be. He needs to process everything that he had been denying to himself all this while" Yoongi said. 

"No, no, please, can you take me to him? I will be there with him" Taehyung pleaded. "Yeah okay" Yoongi said, taking Taehyung's hand and leading him to the Jungkook's bench. He helped Taehyung sit right beside Jungkook and tapped him, indicating that he was going back to Jimin. 

Taehyung silently put a hand around Jungkook and stayed there for sometime. Even though he couldn't see, he knew that tears were running down Jungkook's face. He just wanted to provide silent support to the younger. 

He suddenly felt the younger going stiff. He got worried, but soon felt him shaking, sobs erupting from him. He let the younger bury his face into his neck and wet his shirt in the process. 

Jungkook sobbed for almost half an hour, ugly tears and heart-breaking loud cries filling the park. The rest of them joined them, but maintained their distance. 

It was taking everything he had for Seokjin to stop himself from approaching and comforting his cousin. He knew that the younger had finally accepted the fact, which was why he was sobbing soo badly. 

Even though the younger had nightmares, Seokjin knew that they were just the work of his brain and not about him fully accepting the fact. His own tears were running down his face without a break. 

Namjoon wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, trying to soothe him. Jimin was also close to bursting into Yoongi's arms. Taehyung was crying too. No one could 'not cry' hearing Jungkook cry that way. 

Jungkook let out all the feelings he had been holding inside him for the past two years. "He is gone....he is gone.....they are all gone, hyung, they are all gone......" he kept sobbing. After an agonizingly painful half an hour, he finally fell asleep on Taehyung's shoulder.

As his breath became more and more peaceful, Taehyung realized that the younger fell asleep. "Hyung?" he called out, voice breaking due to the lump present in his throat. 

Namjoon let go of Seokjin and went to his brother. "It's okay, Tae-ah. He needed it. He needs to get it all out. I am glad he could finally do that. Let's take him home. We can go out again in the evening" he said, pulling Taehyung away and wiping his tears while Seokjin held Jungkook. 

Namjoon gestured to Jimin to take Taehyung with him so that he could go and help Seokjin. He put Jungkook on his back and gave him a piggyback ride. They went back home and settled in Seokjin's living room. 

"So...umm....we gotta tell you guys something" Namjoon said, looking towards Seokjin. Seokjin smiled and nodded, encouraging him. 

"We both are dating" Namjoon said, holding Taehyung's hand and subtly asking for permission. "Who both?" Taehyung asked. "We both" Seokjin said. 

"Wow, Joonie hyung, I am soo happy for you. You finally got what you wa-" Namjoon cut Taehyung off by smacking his head.

"Keep quiet, you goose! You can't expose me like that!" he whispered. "Ah~ Namjoon hyung got what he wanted~" Taehyung shouted, half of his shout getting muffled as Namjoon shut his mouth. 

He pushed Taehyung onto the floor and started tickling him. He gestured to Jimin to join the fun and soon, the room filled with laughter and joy.

They were too busy laughing and running around to notice a certain someone with puffy eyes coming out to sit on the couch. 

"AAHHH you scared me!!" Jimin jumped as he suddenly saw Jungkook on the couch. "When did you get up?" Namjoon asked. "Just now. I am sorry for ruining our day. I am very sorry" he said.

Taehyung was right behind the couch. So, concentrating on the blur, he moved to stand right behind the figure on the couch. He put his hands on the younger's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

"It's really okay, Jungkook-ah. We are all glad that you let it all out" Yoongi said, rubbing his arm. "It's two already. Shall we order some food?" Seokjin asked. "Yessss I am starving!!!" Taehyung dragged out his sentence. 

He felt his way around the couch and sat in a corner. Jimin soon joined him and pulled Jungkook with him. 

"Let's play 21 dare" Jimin declared after Seokjin and Yoongi came back to the living room. "What's that?" Taehyung asked. "It's a game" Jimin said, and received a flick on his forehead from Seokjin. 

"Haha, sorry. We have to call out numbers starting from one. We can call out any number of numbers. Maximum four. The one who says '21' gets the dare" Jimin explained. "Okay, lets do it. Jungkook, you start" Yoongi said. 

"One, two, three" 
"Four, five, six, seven"
"Eight, nine, ten"
"Eleven, twelve, thirteen fourteen"
"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen"
"Eighteen, nineteen, twenty" Jin said, smirking mischievously at Jungkook.
"Twenty one" Jungkook glared as the room erupted for the first dare. 

And thus went the whole day.