FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

At least buy me dinner first before whisking me off to live in your flat.

Matty

I don't really know what to do at this point, I couldn't hold back the anger much longer. How could anyone do something like this? It's not right, it's not okay. Especially when Alyssa has made it so clear she isn't interested in him but somehow he thinks it's okay to keep pushing her to the point of forcing himself on her. I'm so privileged to not have to deal with that stuff to the same capacity, I can't imagine how scary it is for women to have these fears and then it becomes a reality. The world is so messed up.

I looked over at her sleeping body, she looked angelic but the harsh reality behind those eyes would be something that would haunt me. The moment she looked at me and I could just tell what she was going to say, she didn't even need to say it out loud for me to know. Her eyes said it all. The anger it ignited in me is something I'll never be able to forget, she didn't deserve this. No one did.

She rolled over onto her side facing me, pulling the covers off her body. I looked at her sleeping figure and it hurt me to notice the bruises now forming on her thighs. They weren't as noticeable last night but it's not as though I was looking for anything like that. A pang of hurt shot through me, this just didn't feel right. The sudden urge to protect her was all I felt, I don't understand why though... I've only known her for 2 weeks but for some reason I just had a special place in my heart for her.

She mumbled something in her sleep and screwed her face up, clearly dreaming about something unsettling. I hope it isn't too bad because she doesn't need anymore fuel to the nightmare she lived last night. The only saving grace for her today is that she doesn't have to go to work for 2 days now.

I decided it was probably best to try and get some form of sleep since the thoughts swirling around my head had kept me awake all night basically. It's hard to shut that off because it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel like I should get to forget about it when she probably never will. She's never going to trust anyone again. All she deserves in the world is some happiness and to be treated well.

Eventually I drifted off to sleep, it wasn't peaceful. My dreams were filled with screaming and blood. I didn't understand why, my demons had been at bay recently. Maybe this whole ordeal reignited some trauma to surface.

I groggily opened my eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them, when I looked over to the side of the bed that Alyssa occupied I noticed it was empty. It hit me a little too hard to see the bed empty but maybe she needed to go and get something. I looked over towards the light coming in from the window and that's when I noticed her sitting on the window ledge, one leg was dangling down but the other was propped up with her chin leaning on top of it. The window was opening and she was smoking and staring out into the London morning.

I leaned on my elbows and watched her for a second, feeling slightly creepy at how much I was staring. She'd probably think I'm a right weirdo if she knew how much I do stare. I can't really help it though, there's something about her that keeps my eyes drawn to her.

She lifted her hand to her lips and inhaled the smoke from the fag, without hesitation she blew the smoke back out of her mouth and closed her eyes. She looked as though she'd been crying again. I don't blame her.

Her eyes darted over to where I was lying in bed and she frowned, realising that I was awake. "Did I wake you?" Her soft voice cracked a little. I sat up properly and shook my head.

"No, I woke up on my own." I told her, my voice was husky due to sleep and alcohol. She smiled weakly at me and then turned her head again to look outside.

"It's feeling a lot more like autumn now, the leaves are falling." She said softly, her eyes danced over the view she could see but I wasn't able to. I don't think she truly understands herself how beautiful she is.