FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

So that's it then?

Alyssa

"Alyssa, I'm going to ask you something and I mean it in the nicest way possible but what the fuck are you doing?" Nessa asked me through the Facetime call. I groaned loudly and closed my eyes.

"I have been asking myself the exact same thing for the past 2 hours but I still haven't come to a conclusion." I whined. "What the fuck?"

"I don't get it, you say you're not trying to get back together with him but you've shagged twice in the past 2 months, you're flirting non stop, talking about some deep ass shit and you're currently sitting in his shirt... it doesn't add up." She pointed out.

"It's complicated Nessa." I whined.

"Is it though? It just seems to me that both of you are too fucking scared to just admit that breaking up was a mistake and you don't care about the reasons anymore." She said bluntly. I looked at her through the screen and groaned even more. "You're just making excuses now, what's the point?"

"I don't know, honestly." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "I want to believe that I'm going to wake up one day and the feelings are gone so we can both move on and forget all of this."

"Do you really think that's going to happen? Or better yet, is that really what you want?" She asked. Do I really want that or is my brain trying to convince me that it's what I want to stop myself from getting hurt even more?

"I'd be lying if I said no but the thing is there's just something that keeps dragging me back into his arms." I said slowly. "Am I really getting in too deep here?"

"I can't really answer that for you." She said.

"I don't know what the fuck to do." I whined loudly.

"You're sitting on the beach in California right now, having fun with your friends but you're having a breakdown over some guy?" She raised an eyebrow. "You need to look at the bigger picture here Alyssa."

"And what is that?" I asked her.

"Stop thinking too much about it, you need to just have fun and see how things go." She chuckled. "At the end of the day you're both going back and forth with this whole thing but not really taking it all too seriously, maybe just stop trying too hard to make something out of it and just enjoy what you two are doing."

"Isn't that going to end with one of us getting hurt, most likely me." I frowned.

"It's always a possibility but that man is so deeply in love with you that I don't think his intentions are to hurt you." She told me. "And this is coming from me, the one who said he shouldn't be with you because he's going to hurt you in the end."

"So you take that back?" I asked.

"I didn't think I would ever back track on that opinion but I've spent a lot of time around him since you two broke up and that man is a wreck without you." She furrowed her brows together. "It's almost an achievement how much that man loves you because I would never have thought he was capable of it."

"Did I ever tell you how much I love and appreciate you in my life?" I smiled at her.

"Not enough but thank you. I'm glad that we became friends through all of this." She grinned.

"Me too." I said.

"Listen, I need to go now it's almost midnight here and I have work tomorrow but keep me in the loop." She informed me.

"Trust me, you're getting daily fucking updates." I chuckled. "Goodnight."

"Night." She grinned and then hung up the call.