FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

That sounds really healthy, mentally stable even.

Alyssa

In usual Matty fashion, I was completely unaware of where he was taking me. It seemed like every time something wasn't going well in my life he would whisk me away somewhere to distract me. Some would say that it's romantic but others would think it's unhealthy how much he wanted me not to face the problems in my life. In all honesty though, I doubt I would face them regardless so at least I was getting to see some cool places.

There was no real indication where we were going though, he made sure of it. His attention was completely on me, making me talk and laugh with his stupid jokes as we drove on the motorway. The realisation dawned on me just how much of the UK I've now seen because of the man to my right, something I didn't even fathom would bother me until now. I was living half a life until he came along and sure there's been a lot of drama and a near death experience on the way, isn't that apart of the fun though?

I looked over at him as he ranted on about how excited he was for the album to come out and telling me stories about when their first album was released. His face was lit up like the sky on Guy Fawkes night as he went on and on about so many wonderful things. It was beautiful to see him so animated and excited about the next chapter in his career. The simple things in his life just seemed to be amplified due to his excitement.

He would use words that the average person wouldn't use in a basic conversations to convey how they feel about things, how he thinks about things. Matty was intelligent beyond his own beliefs and maybe on some level he knew this. It made me wonder why he never went to university or studied at all to do things that he loved. Poetry and reading were two of his favourite things besides writing music, was he just not motivated enough? Not like he needed to go to university to get a degree that would be pointless in his life but I just wonder why he didn't.

"Matty?" I asked him when he quietened down.

"Yeah?" He smiled at me.

"How come you never went to university or anything?" He raised an eyebrow at my question, obviously confused as to why I was suddenly asking a question like that.

"I was rubbish at school, never paid enough attention." He shrugged. "I didn't feel like it would be a good use of money or my time."

"But you're smart." I pointed out.

"There's a difference between being smart and intellectual to the point of studying one field of a subject." He said. "I didn't care enough about sitting in classes and pretending to listen, I knew most things already when I was in school and it bored me."

"Sounds very pretentious of you." I smirked.

"It's really hard for me to say much without sounding like a twat, you should know this by now." He chuckled.

"I was just curious, you like literature and art but you just decided to write music instead." I shrugged.

"There was more to it than that." He sighed. "I was too caught up in partying, girls and fucking about with my mates to focus on that stuff so when it came to it I just got a job instead and worked on my music. I never in a million years thought it would actually work out for me so I guess I made the right choice."

"Do you ever wonder how your life would be if you weren't in the band?" I asked, he looked over at me and frowned.

"I don't really like to think about that if I'm honest, it get's a bit dark." He said softly, keeping his eyes glued on the road. "I think my life worked out the best it could if I'm honest, I wouldn't change it now."

"Are we almost there yet?" I asked deciding to change the subject, the sudden change in tone from him made me feel uneasy. I didn't like the idea that he felt he wasn't good enough without the band although I'm sure that's all he thinks sometimes. It's one of those bitter realities, I can see online that people think he's so confident and sure of himself but in his darkened room in the middle of the night when the anxiety pours out of him, something I'm sure he's unaware that I even notice, he is far from confident.