FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

Don't ever let a man tell you what to do, love.

The amount of things that can change in a year can sometimes be so underwhelming that you'd hardly even notice that amount of time has even passed. We look back at the pictures in our camera roll and think, "I forgot about that." or "That was a year ago?" with some form of shock, as if we haven't lived out every day for the past year. As if we weren't somehow present within that.

When Alyssa started her job at Dirty Hit, she expected it to be like every other music label she worked for. Boring, mundane and just a job that would pay the bills. How wrong she was, her naivety when stepping foot in that office in August 2015 brought her more than she could ever imagine. A group of friends that would take her to many corners of the world, providing her memories that would somehow be engraved in her brain for years to come. A career that would blossom into a dream she never knew she had. A boyfriend that loved her unconditionally and so effortlessly.

A year can change a lot in your life and for Alyssa Stevens, it changed everything. It was only a measly year ago that she believed that her life would never be filled with enough love and appreciation to be worth fighting for but what shocked her the most was finding all the things she truly wanted from the world, in that tiny little office room on a rainy August morning.

The first impression she got from Matthew was simple; he was searching for something he would never truly find. And for Alyssa that hit closer to home than she would ever care to admit. Aren't we all constantly searching for that one thing we will never really get. What do you do when you get it? Do you ever know you've achieved it because you don't even realise it's what you were even looking for?

Alyssa didn't want to live a boring life anymore, she didn't want to look back and regret the days where she'd lock herself in her room and cry about the things she couldn't have. Her failed relationship with Mason gave her an internal fear of ever loving again, little did she know that it wasn't love. She only truly found love when Matthew came into her life. The subtle looks, the unspoken kisses that would lead them both to secretly fall for each other were always in the forefront of her mind. Until the day he told her how he felt, then it wasn't a passing thought anymore. IT was all she wanted.

Yes a year can bring you all the things you could ever want, unknowingly changing and shaping your view on the world. But now all Alyssa was left with was the knowledge that she probably wouldn't be able to give Matty a baby. Something she didn't ever anticipate in the first place but now, knowing she might not be able to, it shattered her entire perspective of the world around her.

"I know things have been a bit rough for you the last few weeks Alyssa but you know you can talk to me about it." Nessa told her best friend, a friendship that truly no one seen coming. Given the unusual circumstances for Nessa's arrival in everyone's lives. "I can't really imagine how difficult it has been to process this information."

"I know." Alyssa looked up at Nessa from her phone, a tool she used to distract herself more so now than ever before. She didn't like the pitiful looks she was receiving from her friends these days. They all knew how much she wanted to have children someday, not so much about Matty though. That was a fact that most people still didn't know. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I understand that." Nessa said a little defeated, she just wanted to comfort her friend as much as possible. There was no way she could really understand the devastation that Alyssa was feeling but she would do everything in her power to be there for her.

"When do they go on again?" Alyssa asked her best friend.

"In about 20 minutes." Nessa replied, just barely above a whisper.

"We should probably head into the venue then." Alyssa sighed and stood up off the couch on the tour bus. "I don't really want to get moaned at for missing the first few songs."