FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

He's not wrong, you do look like you've been shagging.

Alyssa

The vibration of my phone against my cheek woke me up instantly, I blinked violently a few times before looking at the notification that pulled me from my sleep. When I unlocked my phone I saw the picture of Matty and I in Paris again and it all hit me, I fell asleep looking at pictures of us together... it was all a dream. I frowned a little at how real it all felt, what Adam had said to me and me running into Matty's room to get him back.

The sinking feeling in my stomach made me want to be sick. How could it all feel so real? Why did my mind make up something so surreal, especially with it being Adam who spoke to me. Was it just because I wanted to believe that so my mind was trying to convince me in any way it could that Matty really wasn't as bad as I first thought?

I clicked off my pictures and saw that I had a text from Nessa asking me how things had been going since we Facetimed. I quickly replied and told her the conversation that I had with Matty and then put my phone under my pillow again.

The dream had me wide awake now, no matter how hard I tried to fall back asleep I just couldn't. It could be a sign but the only reason I was convinced in the dream was down to what Adam said to me. But it isn't the truth as far as I know so how could I trust it?

I wish I could be inside Matty's mind for just 5 minutes so that I could know what he's really feeling and if the dream I had was just down to my own head hoping to find a way to forgive him. If only it was possible to do that, then maybe things would work out.

-

Matty

It was taking everything in me not to think about Alyssa but it was pretty impossible since she was around all the time. I wanted to avoid her as much as I could now that she's pretty much just rejected me. I think maybe I should try and move on now too since she was clearly never going to forgive me enough to be with me again.

The pills in my bottle were running low but it's not like I couldn't get anymore. Attaining drugs in America was piss easy so I decided to pop 2 this time and get on with it. I had a show in a few hours but hopefully the kick would be in full swing by then.

We were playing a festival today near the beach where we were staying so our sound check was done pretty early then we could do whatever we wanted. I didn't really feel up to sticking around the festival much to be honest, I kinda just wanted to be alone now.

When I was walking along the beach back towards the house I was too deep in thought, I didn't see where I was going and tripped over someone who was sunbathing. "Oh shit, sorry I didn't see you there." I said apologetically.

"It's fine, don't worry." She said with a polite tone in her voice. Her accent threw me off because I was expecting a typical American accent but it was an English one. "It's all good." She looked up at me with a bright smile. Man she was hot, like really hot.

"Sorry again." I said a little flustered. "What's your name?"

"Danielle." She smiled and stood up, I noticed she had heart tattoo on her hip. "My eyes are up here y'know." She giggled.

"Yeah." I said awkwardly. "That's a funny accent for the middle of California." I pointed out.

"I'm here for work, I guess I could say the same for you." She smiled.

"I am too." I replied. "I'm Matty by the way."

"Interesting, you don't really look like a Matty." She grinned.

"I don't really know what a Matty would look like." I shot back with a laugh.

"I dunno I would've guessed like Josh or Andrew maybe." Her smile was really nice to look at and the more she smiled at me the more I started to forget the worries that had been bugging me for the past few weeks.