FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

I was just scared that you would hate me for what I did.

Alyssa

Everything felt good for once, like there were no issues on the horizon and life was just simple. It was a nice feeling to have since the last few months of my life were chaotic and filled with drama. On the other hand I can't sit and moan about having a mundane life anymore because it was far from it now.

The scariest part for me was how quickly I seemed to adjust to having bad mental health while pretending that everything was so good. Not that I'm saying it's an okay thing to do, it's far from it. In the past though, I would dwell on things and shut myself away for days on end until it was possible for me to face the world again. Having someone like Matty around me made it harder to hide. There would be days where we would fight over the stupidest things and then I'd end up crying, we would make up and then it would be like nothing ever happened. He showed me a way of living that distracted me from the demons within me.

Maybe it was the excessive partying and smoking weed with Matty until we couldn't see straight anymore, or maybe it was the fact that there was happiness within me somewhere but something changed within me over the months of falling in love with Matty Healy. I was probably living a life that so many out there envied me for and I could see that, especially on social media whenever he would talk about me.

It was eerily good at the moment and when that feeling sets in, you just know something on the horizon is coming to tear it apart.

A whole month had passed by since the album came out, the guys were touring a lot and as much as I loved being a part of that lifestyle, it was always a good feeling to go back home to London.

"Do you know when George is gonna be here?" I asked Nessa from across the table in the cafe we were sat in. She looked at her phone and shrugged.

"Not sure actually, he said he wouldn't be too long." Her reply sounded bored and like she wanted to be somewhere else.

"You good?" I asked further, curious as to why she suddenly seemed so down.

"Yeah, sorry I'm fine." She looked up at me with a small smile. "I had a late one last night, so I'm just a bit tired."

"That's fine, just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything bothering you." I replied. "Matty said that they were going into the studio to record some song, which is a bit weird considering they just released an album so no doubt that's why they're late."

"Yeah, sounds about right." She nodded and then took a sip on her latte. "Wish they'd hurry up, I'm starving."

"I know what you mean, would it be shitty if we ordered food now?" I asked with a short laugh.

"I'm so glad you're thinking the exact same way I am right now." She grinned. "Fuck it, they're taking ages." We both agreed to just order some food and tell them it's their fault for being so late.

"Did you enjoy Manchester then?" I asked her as I took a bite of my chip. She nodded enthusiastically.

"It was nice meeting George's family." She beamed. "They're so lovely and welcoming, felt really good to be around them."

"That's good, I didn't get a choice in when I met Matty's family." I laughed.

"How come?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well it was on tour, they played a show and his mum, dad and Louis came out for it so I got thrown in the deep end after only being together for a few weeks." I chuckled.

"I can see that being extremely pressuring." She nodded. "But they're nice, right?"

"Yeah, his mum is so lovely." I smiled thinking back to the few times I've met Denise, how amazing she was with me.