FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

Don't be a bore Matty.

Matty

I thought that once Alyssa knew how I felt that maybe things would suddenly fall into place, unfortunately life doesn't ever seem to be that simple. A part of me now regrets sleeping with her because of how it changed the dynamic between us. I wanted so badly to just be able to fix the chaos in our lives but it wasn't meant to be I guess.

She looked over at me and gave me a sad smile. It hurt me to see her just as broken up about it all as I was. I could feel George staring at me, his eyes burning through my skull. "What?" I asked, finally looking at him.

"You haven't said a word all night mate, this is your party and all you've done is stare off into space and say basically nothing." He said with concern in his voice. I looked at him and sighed.

"Everything's fine mate, just a bit off today." I tried to convince him. It was also kinda hard to take him seriously as he was dressed as Slenderman.

"Well you know you can talk to me if you want to. You think I'm blind and don't notice the little things but I'm not going to pry. If you want to tell me then you can on your own terms." I glanced back over at Alyssa who was dressed as an angel.

"It's really complicated and honestly, I want to just forget about it all." I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from her. She was laughing at something Mason had said to her.

"Is this about Alyssa?" George asked. I looked at him and made a face.

"Why would it be about her?" I asked.

"Well you've not took your eyes off her all night mate, plus the conversation we had a few weeks ago... like I said, you might think I don't notice these things but I've known you my whole life and I know when you're a lovesick puppy." He said with some form of amusement in his voice.

"Okay, well I guess you think you've got it figured out." I sighed.

"What happened?" He pressed the matter further.

"Well we kissed about a month ago." I mumbled. His eyes widened. "Then we shagged last weekend after you lot left."

"Fuck sake... I can't say I'm shocked." George laughed, shaking his head. "She's still with Mason though."

"Yeah, she is." I said bitterly.

"Why did she stay with him if she slept with you?" He asked.

"I don't know George, if I did I'd probably not be so fucking lost right now." I sighed.

"Have you two spoken about all this?" I looked at him and shook my head.

"Not really, we were drunk and then the next morning it seemed like things would be okay but then she kinda had a freak out and left for a few hours. When she got back she stayed in her room all night. I've barely seen her because she just goes to work and then hides in her room. I don't want to pry or pressure her further but it's becoming more and more difficult to understand what the fuck is going on between us." I ranted.

"Do you like, actually have real feelings for her or are you just attracted to her?" He asked me.

"If it was just about a shag, I'd of pursued that months ago." I told him, he laughed and nodded.

"I know mate, it's just been awhile since you've actually had feelings for someone." George said.

"How do you think that makes me feel. I've caught feelings for a girl that is just as emotionally damaged as me yet would still rather be with a man who fucking broke her heart." I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands. I looked over at her again and we caught eyes for a split second. She looked too hot for her own good in that costume, making this so much harder for me. The dress she was wearing was tight, showing off a lot of cleavage. It was white and stopped just under her arse, the white thigh highs she was wearing were going to be the death of me though. He didn't deserve to have her.