FOREVER, YOURS // Matty Healy.

Don't fall in love with the moment and think you're in love with the girl.

Matty

I wish that I could find the correct words to describe how magical it all felt, being with Alyssa in Paris but no words could justify the feeling. Nothing could even come close. Every smile in my direction filled me with emotions that I didn't even think were possible at this point. It scares me a little just how much power her aura seemed to have over me so quickly. In truth we'd only known each other for a little over 2 months, which isn't a lot of time in the grand scheme of things. I don't know if maybe being alone for so long has heightened the feeling of being with someone generally or it was her.

As we stood in the Musee D'Orsay looking at paintings by artists I've never even heard of, she looked over at me and her eyes twinkled against the lighting. My heart jumped a little at how she looked at me. I just wanted to be inside her head, to see what she sees and to know exactly how she felt about me.

If she was anyone else I would have some doubts, probably thinking she was maybe using me to gain some form of fame or even to attain a better job within the music industry, or maybe even to just brag about sleeping with someone slightly famous. But with Alyssa I don't have that worry at all, which to me feels more dangerous. As a person I tend to fall in love too easily, it's something George always teases me for. I can't help it though, sometimes it's not even the person I fall for, it's the idea of them.

I couldn't quite gauge exactly what the feeling was for Alyssa though, no matter how hard I tried. For the first month of knowing her I told myself over and over again it was just lust and friendship. That I just found her attractive, which is true but a part of me deep down knew that there was more to it than that. She ignited something within me that I couldn't explain, even if my life depended on it.

Which is why I'm terrified.

"I think this would look amazing in the hallway." She turned to me, pointing at some weird looking painting. I raised an eyebrow at her, she made that joke a few times already.

"If you can afford it, by all means." I shot back. She giggled and continued walking. Her eyes would dance over the works of art in front of her and as cheesy as it sounds, she was so blissfully unaware that she was the most beautiful piece of art in this building, if not in the whole of Paris.

"Do you ever think about the mark you will leave on this planet Matty?" She spun around to face me, a small smirk playing on her lips.

"Sometimes it's all I think about." I replied.

"Well you have a platform to do that on, which is why I ask." She tilted her head to the side and looked over at a painting nearby her.

"It worries me a little, I've made mistakes and said some stupid shit that I don't want to be remembered for." I told her. "I don't want in 100 years time for someone to Google me or whatever search related site is used in the future and for them to find me having a mental breakdown on stage, crying about how no one has the right to love me because they don't know me." I had to laugh at myself, as much as that moment was a low point for my career if I don't laugh I'd probably cry. She made a confused face at me, probably having no idea what I was talking about.

"I think you're gonna make an impact, maybe not as culturally ground breaking as some of this work." She smirked, nodding towards Van Gogh's Starry Night.

"You might be right on that one." I said a little defeated, I'm not that up myself to believe I could be that influential.

"You've made an impact on me at least." She smiled sweetly, spinning around and continuing to walk on.

"And you too." I mumbled under my breath, she didn't hear me but I didn't intend for her to.

We walked into another part of the gallery and there were some questionable looking pieces of art. It brought a sense of calm to me in a way. Everything about the way someone poured their heart into these paintings made me feel at ease. They probably never thought that years later people from all over the world would travel just to view them in person.