Defiant » Na Jaemin

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The girl stood there in shock, blinking a few times before turning around abruptly and watching as the boy disappeared around a corner.

"What just happened." Confused as she looked back to Myunghee who wore a big smile.

"That was amazing." She clapped her hands together at the interaction between one of the schools IT boys and her best friend.

"I may soon be able to cross off another one of my wishes on the list."

Hyuna slapped her friends shoulder lightly as she scoffed. "You are ridiculous."

"Naw, you love it don't lie." Myunghee said as she batted her eyes at the girl, only for her to walk off.

"I have to go, mum and dad will get worried." Hyuna said as an excuse.

"Yeah yeah, say hi to the parentals for me." Myunghee called out while waving, making Hyuna roll her eyes and return the wave.

{}

Hyuna was currently situated at her desk, an array of books spread across the counter as she revised.

There was no test coming up, or assignment, but this is what the girl did.

She would study until she couldn't study anymore. Only giving up when her eyes would forcefully shut in exhaustion.

This was the girls normal, watching as her other classmates posted about the party they went to, or the relationships they were in.

Things Hyuna wished she could relate to, but she couldn't because she was scared.

Scared that if she went outside at night someone would kidnap her, scared that if she didn't do her homework she'd fail Highschool and become a disappointment to her parents.

She was scared that if she didn't play the good girl role in life, she wouldn't be who she thought she was.

But despite her role at school, one she was so accustomed to, she still felt like no matter what she did, it wasn't her true self.

She would fantasise about being a rebellious teenager. What would happen if she snuck out one night, went to her first ever party, got drunk, did all the things a normal teenager her age would do.

But that was just it, they were fantasies, and she was too scared to do anything about it.

Throwing her head back with a groan, she gave up on her homework- going on her phone and pressing on her "sad hours" playlist.

As the music blasted through her room, she laid on her floor and watched her ceiling fan intensely as it spun, the cold breeze hitting her face as she let out a sigh and closed her eyes.

Who am I? She thought.

What would happen if she was to disappear from the earth, what would she leave behind; homework? Good grades?

She wanted to do something in her life to make it meaningful, for life is too short to waste away doing homework and aiming for good grades.

Maybe detention wasn't too bad, maybe this was her first step towards being the person from her fantasies.

But her cowardliness swarmed her body like a parasite, consuming every bit of courage she ever had as she laid sprawled on her floor.

Her hands came up to her face, cupping and blocking her vision from the rest of the world as a tear slipped down her cheek.

Who was she?

She was a mystery, shielded from the world and stuck in a prison of bricks.

Innocence and purity trapped under the rubble of heavy stones made of life and reality. She juxtapositions her own life and thoughts, her heart so obviously wanting one thing but her mind betraying her and leading her astray.

A puppet thrashed around an empty room of bleakness, strings thinning with each passing second.

A marionette to her own mind.

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Okay babies, I'm not saying school is unimportant, or getting good grades is bad.

It's the complete opposite actually. But your grades don't define you.

When you're 70/80 and you look back on your life, what are you going to remember? Your grades? Or all the things that make you happy?

If your grades make you happy, then that makes me happy for you.

You should do things that make you happy.

School is still important tho, just make sure you have fun.

I spent so long wanting to leave, but come my last year and I wanted to enjoy every second of it, because school isn't your whole life.

Don't worry about what everyone thinks about you in school, most times is that you'll never see them again.

I'm going into a major in Uni that no one I know is going to, I only talk to one person from my year and that's my best friend.

So trust me when I say, please enjoy your days. Time goes by so fast and we are so caught up in the big things, we forget to appreciate the little things.

So have fun 😊
But be safe and responsible!
Do your homework but don't forget to step out of your comfort zone!!

Please don't take these in the wrong way, I cherish all of you.

Enjoy life my babies 💚💚