enemies ⁀➷ y.jn ✓

62

Y/N POV

Jeongin stood up and left, closing the door behind him. I stayed in my room by myself for what felt like hours, until I could finally calm myself down. I took a deep breath and exhaled, wiping my tears.

I got up from my bed and walked to the long mirror, examining my face. I had dark eye circles and I looked sort of pale; almost like a ghost. I stared at myself in the mirror for so long to the point where I broke out in laughter, just laughing at how I looked.

I had laughed so hard my stomach began hurting. Gripping my stomach, I managed to calm myself down. I sniffed once more and sat back on my bed, not having a clue about what to do. It was so boring; Soonyoung was hibernating, mother was out the house, and I had no one to talk to.

I honestly felt numb. I didn't know how to feel. I was sad a minute ago but now I really just don't feel anything. Is that normal? I hope so. I'd rather feel numb than feel any more heart break.

Jeongin came through in my mind again. He wanted to say something earlier, but I cut him off. I didn't want any explanation or apology. I need to be done with him, I AM done with him. I'm sure his explanation or whatever he needed to say is half assed anyway. But at the same time.. I deserve an explanation.

He shut me out and left me in the dust with no reasoning, no proper goodbye. He never told me why. I deserve an explanation, then I can finally move on. But if I talk to him again and let him explain.. I know he's going to find a way into my heart again.

I sigh, trying to decide what to do.

Listen to him, or move on right now.

God, Y/N, please think. Don't be a dumb bitch for once. That's really hard, but please. Don't be dumb, think, Y/N, think.

Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do? Listen to him and possibly fall again or move on now and forget the past? I don't want to risk it.

I'm certain he's going to get back into my heart if I listen to him talk. He knows just how to melt my heart and give me butterflies with his words and actions. But I want an explanation. I need an explanation. I deserve one. That's the least he can do; explain why he left.

Not that we even dated again. We never dated again, but we were still in love. I probably should not make this a big deal. We never even dated, why am I getting so butt hurt?

Just move on, Y/N. He already has.

Hell, he's probably not even thinking for a second about me or my feelings. He just wants to toy with my emotions and make me fall in love with him again because he knows I'm trying my hardest to move on.

Fuck it. Whatever. We were never even together again, he left. So what? I need to accept it and stop being heartbroken. I'll be okay. I don't need his explanation, I don't need him. I don't need his fake words. I can't fall for him any deeper, I really need to move on.

I shake my head to get rid of Jeongin in my mind, snuggling up in bed. I laid there; my eyes shut, as I tried to fall asleep but I just couldn't sleep. After an hour of attempting I groaned, turning on my phone and unlocking it.

"Y/N! Come down and eat!" I hear Soonyoung shout from downstairs.

My mom is probably home. My eyes widened in excitement and I put on an oversized hoodie, putting my phone in the pocket. I went downstairs, expecting to see my mom so I had a big smile: but it was only Soonyoung and Jeongin. My smile faded quickly once I saw Jeongin, and I cursed at myself in my mind. My face instantly became gloomy seeing him.

But it's okay, I'm going to ignore him the best I can.

I walked over to the dinner table where the two were; there was two large boxes of black bean noodles and spicy fried chicken. I sat down across from Jeongin and next to my brother.