Shut Up, Padfoot!

17

"Doing okay?" he asked.

I sniffled, dragging my heels on the cement. His hand squeezed around mine and I stared at the sidewalk in front of us.

He dragged my luggage behind him with his free hand, looking down at me. I kept my face straight ahead and saw the beginnings of sun rays shoot into the sky across the horizon.

The orphanage was in the background and we neared closer by every footstep. What am I going to do?

"No."

He sighed, his thumb running over my knuckles. My eyes were dry from how much I cried but I just know when Sirius leaves me, I'll cry again in my bed.

The street lamps shined their orangeish yellow light upon the dark streets and sidewalks and it seemed appropriate to my mood.

"Did I continue our moment?" I quietly asked, my throat obviously sounding sore and worn.

"Hm? What's that, Fawkes?" he asked.

"Did I continue our moment? It's July 2nd and I'm with you again," I repeated.

"Oh. Yes, you did. I'm sorry about how I forced you to think that. I didn't know what you were going through and-"

"You didn't know because I didn't tell you. It's my fault, not yours," I reassured.

He didn't reply.

I pulled our intertwined fingers up. He was wearing his watch. I turned our hands so I could peer at the time.

"It's 6:38 a.m. And the last train was around 4:30 a.m. I'll say I continued our moment at 4:34 a.m.," I said.

"Gosh.. you don't have to keep up with it," he replied bashfully.

"Yes, I do. For you," I responded dismissively.

I lowered our hands, looking back in front of me. My feet hurt and my chest is sore. But there is no other place and person I'd rather be with.

I hate how I did that to Rosanna.

I hate what I did to Pandora's family.

But I can't turn back time.

Merlin, I really wish I could.

The front of my orphanage appeared. I stopped and so did he. He propped my luggage on the side and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I wish I could stay with you," he said.

"Me too.. But September is where we officially begin again," I replied.

He nodded, stepping closer to me. I lowered my eyes and made sure to keep them avoiding his. I still can't meet his eyes anymore.

"Write me letters everyday, okay? I'll try to get them before Regulus throws them away," he responded.

I laughed a little, nodding. He held my chin gently and upturned my head. I kept my eyes down. He caressed my cheek with his other hand.

"Look at me, love," he whispered.

I shook my head, biting my lip to suppress an oncoming sob. I'm sensitive, I already know.

"Come on.. show me your pretty baby blue eyes," he urged.

I couldn't deny him.

Fluttering my eyes upward, I made eye contact with him. He smiled lightly. I furrowed my brows, trying not to think too much about the earlier events.

"There it is.. Stunning," he whispered.

He leaned down slightly. I watched him inch closer. His breath fanned my mouth and I don't know what to expect. He stared down at my mouth and grew even closer.

His lips brushed mine and a shock of electricity ran through me.

He pulled away.

"Not today.. You should get some rest, okay?" he said.

I cleared my throat, nodding. I curled my fingers around my luggage handle. He smiled and pushed the small of my back.

He waved at me, gesturing for me to go on. I pouted a little, waving back at him and following up the walkway to the orphanage door.

I turned around completely, wondering why I didn't say goodbye. I paused, faltering in my tracks.

Looking over my shoulder, I noticed him bury his hands into his pockets and walk away. Turning my body fully, I thought once, twice, and thrice.

Quickly, I shuffled back down the walkway.

He shifted his body, wondering why the sound of my heels sped and grew closer to him.

He grunted as I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands escaped his pockets and held my waist.

Without anymore hesitation, I captured his lips into a kiss.

Closing my eyes, I pressed myself into him more. He ran a hand through my hair and pulled me close to him.

If I'm dying...

Then I better live the best I can until the end.

His lips tasted like lemonade.

Oddly.

My fingers curled into the bottom of his hair, resting on the back of his neck. He smiled into the kiss, mouth still pressed against mine.

I slightly pulled away, pecking his mouth a couple times to show the end of the kiss. He peered down at me through his lashes. The hurricane in his grey dialed down and the calm ocean swayed.

"You don't have to say it back but..." I began.

His eyes widened and his swole lips parted. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. I don't want to scare him away but this might be my only chance. I want to live everyday to the fullest and if I do, then I'll tell him.

"I love you," I said.

He sighed, pulling me in for another kiss. I giggled, pecking his lips some more. His hands held me securely and it felt right. Everything about being with him feels right.

He pulled away this time, gazing down at me.

"I love you too," he told.

I smiled widely at him. He pressed a kiss into my cheek, then my forehead, then my nose. He attacked my face with kisses and I laughed out.

"You're so adorable. God, I really do love you," he said.

"Ugh, you're so cheesy!" I exclaim.

"I can't help it! I've thought about this moment for years!" he responded.

"Shut up, Padfoot! I have too!" I replied.

"No way," he refused.

"Yes way. I told you same minds think alike," I stated.

"Dumbass, it's 'great minds think alike'," he corrected.

I paused, thinking for a moment. "Oh, true."

He chuckled, bringing me into another embrace. He snuggled his face into my hair and held me tightly. So warm. And it feels safe. Like the only place on earth that I won't be judged.

"It's going to be okay, you know? We'll figure this all out," he said.

"Yeah. I think we will."

-lana
okay so i think thisll be the end of the summer before sixth year and ill begin sixth year the next chapter! eee im so excited to write it