Karmagisa Oneshots

Depression

After a long day at school I finally returned to my empty apartment.
"I'm home"
"....."
That's right....there was no one here to greet me.
....I'm all alone...
My mom kicked me out of the house after I had told her I was gay
"......"
The minute I closed the front door I took my shoes off as well as my jacket and walked to my room.

Although I no longer had my mom, I still had Karma.
The two of us have been friends since middle school.
And since Karma knew about my situation he always worried about me and came to visit.....but it's been 2 months since he last came and I rarely see him at school.

He forgot about you
I took a deep breath, trying my best to ignore the thoughts
You're a burdon to him. That's why he hasn't come
Not even your mom wants you
Shut up...
Nobody wants you, after all who would want someone worthless like you
Face it, your better off dead
No one will care, no one will notice that you're gone
"....."

Once I entered my room I removed my school uniform and exposed my naked body to the cold air.
All the cuts on my arms, wrists, and legs were now completely visible.
The recent ones stung, but I was used to it.

At first I simply just used my nails to let out all my stress, clawing at my wrist and scratching until blood was drawn.
But as time passed scratching just wasn't enough...I turned to a knife instead.
The burning sensation was very painful at first, but with time I came to get used to it.
As a matter of fact...I almost began to enjoy the pain.

After I untied my hair and got dressed in some grey sweat pants and white t-shirt I took the blade from my drawer and began to slice at my arm, watching as drops of blood hit the floor.
"....."
Just as I was about to go for another go the door bell rang
"!!!"
I was taken by surprise and accidentally cut a little too deep causing a gush of blood to flow out.
"....."
Not bothering to patch up my wound I just put on the matching jacket to my sweat pants and put the knife back on my desk before going to open the door.

When I went to see who it was I was shocked to see him
"K-Karma!?"
"Hey Nagisa" he smirked
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After allowing Karma inside we sat down on the couch in awkward silence.
"....."
"....."
I only looked down, I wasn't sure what I was feeling.
Was I happy that after 2 months Karma came to visit me?
Or angry that after 2 months he shows up and acts like nothing happened?

A few more seconds passed by before Karma decided to speak up
"How have you been?"
I looked up
How cruel....our first time seeing each other in months and you want me to lie to you
I want to tell him though
What would he do if he knew?
How would he react?
There's no guarantee he'll help you
What if he just leaves...finds you too much to handle...thinks you're only doing it for attention
But I'm not
If you want him to stay, don't say anything
"Nagisa? You ok?"
"I'm fine"
"that's good"
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After talking for a few minutes we decided to watch a movie
"I'll get the popcorn" I said, standing up and going to the kitchen to get the popcorn ready

......

When I came back I sat down next to Karma and handed him the bowl.
But the moment he was taking the bowl his eyes widened
"Are you hurt!?" He asked, putting the popcorn aside and gripping my wrist
"Huh?"
When I looked down I noticed that blood was going through my jacket
"!!!"
I quickly pulled my arm away before he had the chance to roll up my sleeve
"N-No! My jacket just got dirty, I'll be back" I said before running off to my room
"......"

The minute I got to my room I removed my jacket and tossed it to the ground
He saw it
He knows now
He's going to leave
Its ok, if he does leave you can just end it
Why live if the person you thought you could trust won't except this side of yourself
"Yeah" He grabbed the knife from my desk and walked to my bed, placing it under my pillow.
Tonight
"Nagisa?"
"!!!"
I slowly looked up and there was Karma, standing by the door
"K-Karma...."
His eyes landed on my arms and he marched up to me
"What did you do!?"
"I-It's not what you think!" I waved my hands back and forth but he caught my left arm and looked at the damage I had done
"Why'd you do this!!?"
"....."
"Is this what you've been doing!? How long have you been doing this!?"
"....."
"Tell me! Why are you hurting yourself!? Do you not value your life!?"
"......"
Ashamed, I fell to my knees, only looking down at the ground with tears clouding my vision.
I didn't have the courage to look him in the eye
"......"
"......"
"....."
"......"

After a couple of minutes I heard Karma sigh and kneel down infront of me
"Tell me....please" he spoke calmly
"...I..I'm worthless"
"You're not worthless. What are you talking about Nagisa?"
"No one wants me!" I yelled out
"!!"
"....I couldn't stop Karma" tears started rolling down my cheeks as I finally looked up to face him
"there was a voice telling me how worthless I was, that me being dead wouldn't matter! That even you abandoned me...."
"......"
Not saying anything Karma simply wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly
"I'm sorry for leaving you. I was having difficulty sorting out my feelings after you came out"
"You don't want to be friends with someone like me, do you? Is that why you finally came, to tell me you no longer want to see me"
"No!" He quickly yelled out, as if in pain
I looked at him in confusion
"...I wasn't sure if I wanted to throw away our years of friendship to confess my feelings for you"
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry you were alone, but I'm here now"
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Karma POV
Once Nagisa had fallen asleep I bandaged all his wounds and put him to bed, covering his small fragile body with a blanket
"....."
I sat down on the floor and held his hand, watching him as he slept soundly
"I won't leave you....ever" I whispered