Blazing Rivers

19

BLAZE

The sun burns into my skin as I sit waiting. Dry tears on my cheeks. My face felt blotchy and I'm sure my eyes were red, small tears trickled down my face every so often. I didn't want to cry. Not at all. But every emotion that I'd been suppressing came rushing back. Like it was flooding me. Overpowering me once again.

Flashes of my little brother came to mind. Every memory, every laughter, everything. It just all came back. His bright, loving smile. His contagious laugh. His striking blue eyes.

My little Finley

He was truly gone, it was all over.

I can't feel like this. Everything is too much to handle.

The guilt. The all consuming, aching guilt. It was all my fault. Everything.

I can't do this anymore.

I grab my bag, pulling at the zipper and rummaging through. I gladly find what I was looking for.

The pills from ages ago, I always had them in here when I needed them. I open the packet, emptying the remaining pills into my hands.

2 little blue pills. 2 insignificant things that can make me forget every significant thing that my mind has been riddled with.

Grasping onto my chest, my uncontrollable sobbing getting the better of me once again.

Glancing down at the pills again, I move my hand closer and closer to my mouth, ready to knock them back.

I want to do it.

I have to.

I can't hold on anymore.

Can I?

I get ready to put the pills in my mouth, ready for everything to go away. It's the only option I've got right now.

"Blaze!"

The sudden noise makes me remove my hands from my face and take a glimpse in the direction it came from.

River

He came. He actually came.

My shaky hands drop the pills and I look at him almost pleadingly.

He runs up to me, dropping to his knees and pulling me into his chest. Holding me. Never letting go.

"Breathe Blaze," he whispers, "everything's gonna be okay, I promise you."

Gripping onto his jacket, my breathing still not going back to normal. I was erratic.

What is happening to me?

"In through your mouth and out through your nose," his soothing voice seems to calm me down in a way.

I start doing what he said, my breathing slowly coming back to normal, the tightness in my chest fading away, like it was never there.

"It's okay," he continues to cradle me in his arms, lightly wiping away tears as they came, "shh, it's all gonna be okay."

I felt safe in his arms. I felt like everything truly was going to be okay. River had something about him that felt calming, safe even.

"I can't feel like this anymore," I start, still crying in the crook of his neck, "I need help, please help me, I can't go through this any longer."

River put both hands on my cheeks, making me look him directly in the eyes. His soft touch, cooling down the warmth of my skin.

"You can get through this Blaze, I promise you, I'll be by your side through it all."

"I promise you." He finishes, his eyes never leaving mine.

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UNEDITED

Next is chapter 20, and we have a little time skip told through Blaze's POV,

I'm probably gonna be editing a few things over the next few days, some changes and just some extra words probably. I just need to check if it all matches up.