Blazing Rivers

48

BLAZE 

I stomp back into the living room ready to confront Nicola. How dare she kick River out like that without even talking to us about her opinions first. I cross my arms and stare at her from her seat on the sofa, her expression unreadable. Jake is in the garden, he must’ve gone out while I was saying bye to River. 

“What the hell was that?”

“Are you serious? I can’t allow it and that’s that.” 

“Nicola please, he makes me happy. Why can’t you be happy that I’m happy?”

“It’s not right!”

I could try and convince her. Make her change her mind. 

“It feels right!” I shout, partly out of exhaustion with having to go over everything a second time. I thought Nicola being married and having a happy relationship that she’d understand.

“You’d be too dependent on each other. Not to mention you’re a borderline alcoholic. You’re too alike and it won’t work out. What if one of you starts drinking again? Don’t tell me you don’t think about it.”

“I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME!” my outburst causes the dogs to bark and Nicola to jump in her seat. I don’t think about it every second, but sometimes I wonder if it would be better. “When I do need a drink you know what I do… I text River or I speak to Bentley or Cori. Please just don’t rule us out.” I beg.

“You have to break it off.” she says, making my heart drop and my blood to run cold. “Blaze listen to me, please. Two alcoholics being together, will not end well.” How does she know that? She hasn’t seen us together. Hasn’t seen how well we are. “You either break it off… or… or I will. I’ll buy him a one way ticket back to New York, that way the both of you will never happen.”

“What?” I have no words. For the first time in my life I have no idea what to say. 

“I’m only looking out for your best interests.” she stands up, holding my shoulders, making me look at her right in the eyes. “You have to break whatever you have going on off.”

“NO!” I shuffle back, my eyes burning. “I won’t do it.”

“Do it or… you’ll… you’ll no longer be living in this house anymore.” she looks regretful, but I can’t sympathise. 

What do I do? Do I lose my family? Or do I lose River?

RIVER

Everything is falling apart for Blaze and I. It’s like whatever we’re walking towards has come crashing down in front us, not letting us to move forward. I can understand why her friend’s would be reluctant to the thought of us being together, if something went wrong there’s a chance that we’d start drinking. 

A knock on my door brightens my mood. It’s probably Blaze, and I hope she has good news. Opening my door, I smile warmly at the green eyed girl I’ve grown to be so fond of. The light in her eyes however is gone, which straight away makes me certain that something’s wrong.

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah of course.” Frowning I usher her inside, where she immediately heads for the kitchen counter. She doesn’t attempt to hug me or anything she just stands, he shoulders tense and her eyes red like she had been crying. “What’s wrong?”

“I have to talk to you about something.” she states, tracing the tattoo on her wrist. 

“O-okay…” 

“We can’t do this anymore.” Everything stops. The air becomes too bitter to breathe in. My chest clenches and my heart starts racing. This wasn’t supposed to happen. “I don’t want to do this to you but she said if I didn’t she’d do it for me, and I didn’t her hurting you.” I can see now that she’s reluctant, that everything inside of her is pulling her back, stopping her from what she really wants to do. I can see the pain in her eyes, I always have, and I wish it was me that was in pain, not her. She doesn’t deserve it. 

“It’s okay.” I assure her, even though in my heart I know it’s not. 

“No it isn’t.”

“I’ll still be here.” I hold her hands, savouring the warmth of her skin. 

“I’ll wait for you Blaze...” I whisper, trying so hard to hold onto my emotions.

“Don’t leave.” she then says. “Don’t go back to New York now, stay.”

I was never planning to go back there anytime soon anyway. I’ll wait for her. I’ll always wait for her.

“I’m not going anywhere love.” I mutter, touching her cheek. She melts into my touch, closing her eyes. “I’ll wait for you.” I repeat, needing to reassure her.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” the smile I love so much makes its way on her face again. “I have to go but I’ll see you soon.” she whispers, planting her lips on mine. Her lips taste of coconut. Tropical and sweet. This kiss feels different than the rest. It’s like we’re saying goodbye for good, which makes the fear rise within. I’m planning on leaving nor is she. Why does it feel this way? 

As she breaks away from me she heads for the door, I stare out my window, thinking everything over. 

“Someday!” she turns to me and nods before closing the door behind her. 

Someday. 

I feel like I’ve lost the only thing good in my life. I could’ve run after her, said screw what everyone else thinks. They don’t have a clue about us. But all I can muster is the hope of someday. That someday everything will be right for us. It’s the hope of someday that’s going to keep me going. 

A tear trickles down my face and I rush to wipe it. I want someday to be sooner rather than later. 

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unedited