Blazing Rivers

47

BLAZE

Hearing the word betrayed is like a stab wound to the chest. An ache that never goes away. Bentley’s words repeat over and over again in my head like never ending noise. He meant it. He deserves to feel that way there’s no doubt about that. I tried so hard to not have any feelings for River, so I could keep Bentley’s promise, but I couldn’t do it anymore. Yes I’m selfish but I can’t keep making people happy if it’s affecting me in the process.

“You broke the promise.” Bentley spoke.

“I know but…”

“You broke the damn promise! You didn’t even have the guts to tell me yourself. You’re a liar Blaze. You were supposed to be my friend.” the way he spits out my name doesn’t sit right with me. 

“I was going to tell you. I was going tell you tonight B, I really was.” 

“That’s bullshit!” he snaps, making me jump back. “You know how I feel about promises because of my mom and dad and you go and break a promise we made.”

“I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HAPPY!” my outburst alerts the attention of different students walking past, them stopping to listen. Greyson’s face still has an ugly smirk on his face and Cori doesn’t know what to do, his eyes look at me pleadingly, like he’s telling me not to argue. He’s right in a way it’s exactly what Greyson wants. “If Cori can be happy for me why can’t you?” 

“Cori knew before me! Are you serious?”

“Yes. yes I am serious. I am happy for the first time in four years. Why can’t you accept that?”

“You really think you and River are going to work? Two recovering alcoholics together, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.” 

“You think you know everything when you don’t. You don’t know what is going to happen.” 

“Oh and you do?” he laughs bitterly.

“I don’t see the issue and I refuse to talk about it in front of all these people.” 

I push past the group, heading for the doors. I’ve never been more frustrated at Bentley in my life. Breathing in some of the cold fresh air, I wipe my eyes in exasperation over the whole situation. Greyson has ruined everything. I need to speak to River. 

“Hey! Where are you going? We’re not done?”

“Oh I think we are Bentley.”

I try to walk away but Bentley grips my wrist pulling me back.

“Are you going back to him?”

“Yes in fact I am.” I pull my arm from his grasp and walk away from him again.

“This will end badly. Don’t come running back to me when it does.” 

I don’t respond, I can’t deal with him when he’s like this. 

I hope one day we can move past this and it won’t damage our dynamics. I need Bentley in my life. Have I ruined everything beyond repair?

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Knocking frantically on River’s door, I tap my feet on the floor. My nerves are wracked and I have no idea what to do. Everything has exploded in my face.

“Whoa. Are you okay?” River asks as he opens the door. 

“Everything has gone wrong. Greyson, he’s… he’s such a dick.” I pace around the apartment pulling at strands of my hair. 

“What happened?”

“I was planning to tell Bentley tonight but Greyson got to him first. Made a big scene out of it, embarrassed me in front of everyone, about how I have been lying to Bentley and keeping everything from. He’s my best friend and I’ve made him feel betrayed.” I cover my face with my hands, a little scream emitting from my lips.

“Come here.” River opens his arms out to me. I go up to him and snuggle into his chest, he wraps his arms around me. This is the comfort I need after this eventful morning. “Maybe we should go to your godparents, before Greyson or anyone else does.”

“You want to tell them together?”

“Yeah, I think they’ll respect us more if we do.”

“Okay, let's do it now, before anyone else gets to them first.” 

“I really want to punch this Greyson kid for upsetting you like this.” River says, surprising me. Here I thought he was the calm and collective type. “He sounds like a nightmare.” 

“He’s worse than a nightmare, he’s a monster.” I mutter bitterly, heading for the door.

I still can’t believe how everything has turned out. It’s a complete and utter mess. I can’t stop thinking about Bentley. What if we never get back to the way we were before? What if the trio is broken forever?

River parks at the side of the road and gets out, waiting for me to join him. He grasps my hand and intertwines our fingers. Speaking to my godparents is going to be daunting but having River by my side makes it tad bit easier.

“Nicola? Jake?” I call out after opening the door. 

“In here Blaze.” Jake shouts from the living room. Pulling open the door to the living room, we step through, meeting the eyes of my godparents.

“I’m going to cut to the chase. River and I have started… like… sort of being together. He makes me happy and I’m hoping you respect this. He makes me happy.” No amount of practice seemed to help with my choice of words, I don’t know what to say.

Nicola’s face changes from the one smiley and happy woman to concern and confusion. Jake’s face is blank, I can’t read his emotions whatsoever.

“W-What?” Nicola says, her eyes wide. 

“We’re together… like together together.” 

“No, I got that Blaze?” she steps forward, shaking her head and begins pacing around the room. “He’s your mentor.”

“...Yeah but…” 

“No!” she cuts me off, raising her voice. “I can’t allow this… River needs to go.” she orders, pointing out the window. 

Why can’t I have one supporting family member? Cori may be fine with it but that’s Cori. He’s a carefree person. Don’t I deserve happiness?

“Why?” I try but she waves me off heading to the kitchen with a huff.

“It’s okay. Tell me how it goes.” River walks to the door and goes to open it. I rush up to him grabbing his face, having the need to feel his lips on mine. Maybe to reassure him, or maybe to reassure myself. 

“I’ll see you soon.” I whisper, a sad smile on my face. 

This is not going how I imagined it would. Everything is falling apart.

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unedited