TW: Self Harm & Verbal Bullying (if self-harm triggers you, please skip Adrien's second POV in the chapter. The scene isn't too graphic and I don't explain the action, but I mention blood and cuts, so please take care of yourself and avoid the scene if you need to. I'm also trigger warning the bullying cause it's a little more aggressive in terms of the language used).
Precious Sins
Chapter XL: Scars On My Skin
[Adrien's POV]
It felt nearly impossible to get out of bed in the morning. When my alarm went off at 7:oo am in the morning alerting me to get ready for school, the first thing that I did was cry. I rolled onto my back and rubbed my hands over my face, and just cried. At this rate, weekends were treated like a load of relief knowing that I had a break from all of the rumours and names being thrown at me, but it was also stressful knowing that the weekend was so short because in a blink the weekend was over and now I'm back to my daily dose of torture.
It just seemed never-ending and I just wanted this heavy cloud over my head to go away, but it just stormed harder. And I was tired. So fucking tired of this. Tired of waking up and having to live like this. It seemed like there was no good at the end of this.
I can't make my thoughts go away. They just get louder, and at this point, I let them get louder. I couldn't stop anything from happening in my life, so what was the point in trying when it was pointless in the end?
After fifteen minutes of crying to myself in bed, I pulled myself out of bed with all the strength I had. The urge to get back into bed and crawl under the covers and stop existing was strong, and I almost did just that, but with regret, I got out of bed and walked out of my bedroom towards the bathroom to shower. Another thing that just seemed like a chore. Everything nowadays was just a chore. Waking up was a goddamn chore.
While the warm water was nice when I stepped into the shower, but it didn't do much to wash away the brewing anxiety in my chest. I couldn't remember a time where I didn't have panic attacks, and it took so much out of me because sometimes I would cry so hard I would have to sit down because I would get lightheaded. It was so exhausting.
By the time I was out of the shower and back in my room, changed into a grey hoodie and ripped jeans, my mom knocked on my bedroom door to say goodbye before she headed into work. After Mom and Jackson broke up, she mentioned that she wanted to get out more so she decided to apply for a job at the bakery in town as a baker, and much to her excitement, she got the job. I mean, my mom was a great cook and baker so I wasn't surprised when she got the job. I was happy for her. Well, I tried to be happy for her. It was genuinely hard to feel any sort of contentment nowadays, but I tried my best to express my happiness for her, even if I had to force it a little.
"I'm heading out now sweetie, I hope you have a good day at school! I love you!" Mom called out to me from outside my bedroom door. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, recollecting myself before I opened my eyes again and replied.
"I love you too mom. I hope your first day at work goes well," I called back out to her. She blew me a kiss through the door and said one final I love you, sweetie! To me and then, she was gone.
When she was gone, I spent the next twenty minutes eating a bowl of fruit loops on the couch, while petting Ruby and Shelby, the two of them curled up on the couch beside me. Then, when it was time for me to head out, I grabbed my bag, slipped on my coat and shoes, and walked out of the house with dread pooling in my stomach.
By the time I got to school, I had to force down the panic that threatened to bubble up in my throat. Asher had texted me just before I got to school saying that he had a doctor's appointment this morning and wouldn't be at school until the end of lunch, which meant I would be spending the first half at school alone. I was terrified of walking into the building alone, terrified of going into class by myself because surely, people would say something to me and I had no idea how to defend myself. It was all pointless.
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Precious Sins ✓
Teen Fiction[Precious Series Book One] At 17 years old Adrien Aguilera is ready to take on his last year of high-school. But while trying to tackle a new school year with hard studying and homework, he has to deal with the fact that he and his mom were moving i...
