Oh Hey Look, A Dekuverse

Uncle Midoriya Had Not Seen Such Bullshit

"Who is Uncle Roger?" Toshinori asked as almost everyone (not Endeavor, of course) gasped.

"How could you not know who Uncle Roger is?!?!" Mina shrieked as Yuki tried to shushed her.

"I can't imagine Izuku as Uncle Roger though." Todoroki stressed as Deku couldn't help but laugh at the idea.

(italicized- Hawks, bold- regular)

"Drain it." The video shows----

Everyone cringed as they utter horror in their eyes.

"Who does that?! I may be dumb, but I know how to cook rice!" Denki asked as Yuki cleared her throat.

"The way we cook rice is different. And apparently this is how the West does it." Yuki said, trying not to get pissed because she is officially done with such bullshit for the day (like seriously Trisha Paytas needs to stop. She may or may not have DID or Multiple Personality Disorder, but that don't give you the right to call anyone crazy. More rant for later)

"What she doing? What she doing?!? DRAIN THE-- OH MY GOD! You killing me woman, haiyaaaaaaaa. Drain the rice? She drain the rice with colander--"

BEEEEEEEEP

"Hello, my name is Uncle Midoriya. Today I'll react to a video sent by one of my fans. It's the BBC Good Food, How to make Egg Fried Rice video." Midoriya greeted as the picture of the website is seen on screen.

"Let's get to the video."

"Egg fried rice, don't be afraid--"

"Who the hell would be afraid of egg fried rice? It's just herbs and spices added to egg and rice."

"This is really simple it's cheap, it's really delicious and very satisfying *pause*."

"Who afraid of egg fried rice?" Deku asked after he replayed the portion for a bit.

"It's the most common dish, everybody eat egg fried rice. Who afraid-- WHy ArE You AfrAiD oF egG FrIeD RicE? Where your courage?" Deku asked.

"Uncle Midoriya scared, ghost. But you scared egg fried rice." Deku said as his face was zoomed in.

"F A I L U R E."

"Ouch! I'm hurt~." Hawks reacted as Shinsou sighed.

"Putang inang ulol." Shinsou muttered before Aizawa pinched him on his hips.

"Oi, makinig kita. Ayaw saba."

"But you don't pay 8 quit for it (idk what se said, gomen)"

"Who pay 8 pound for take-away egg fried rice? My god. They think money go on tree for paying 8 pound for egg fried rice. Haiyaaaaaa.........."

"So a lot of people are afraid of cooking rice-" Hawks says as he places rice on a large cup

"But you could follow a simple rule, which is for every one part rice you have, you need two parts water." 

"Use finger!!!! You--." Uraraka pointed her finger downwards and points at the first finger joint.

"USE YOUR FINGER!!!!"

"Rice cookers come with a cup. For every one cup of rice is one-half more of water. (1 rice:1 1/2 water)." Shinsou said as Deku looks at him weirdly.

"That's kind of specific. How'd you learn that?" Deku asked as Shinsou quivers for a bit.

"I broke the cover of the rice cooker, so I had to learn how to cook rice traditionally with the right measurements as a punishment." Shinsou shivered as Aizawa chuckled lightly.

"Why you measure water with cup? Just use finger. Finger. You use finger. Just put rice then water, until finger. First joint. First joint of the finger. That's how you measure the water, not with some British teacup." Deku said as he showed his first finger joint.

"First step, already wrong. I am not confident. This video is gonna be good." Deku said

"That's enough rice for two people." Hawks said as he swirls the pot around and covers.

"Wait, so you don't wash the rice? How you don't wash the rice, just cook the rice? Now the rice stinky like you."

"Not all rice is stink actually. Only some, but it's just to remove the starch." Momo explained as everyone else ignored her educational input and laughed at thte joke.

"Where you learn how to cook rice? Some white people cooking school, or something?"

"That's a little racist." Denki said before getting nudged by Sero.

"You know what Uncle Midoriya don't like? Uncle Midoriya don't like induction stove." Deku noted as the camera zooms on the hostess' induction stove.

"Uncle Midoriya need the fire. It's so lame, it's so unsatisfying."

"Amen." Bakugou and Sato agreed.

"When you go camping, you set fire, you don't set induction stove." Deku explained as he edited some stock image campfire and inserted an induction stove on the fire.

"The rice is looking good." Hawks said as he opens the cover of the pot to see the rice still FUCKING BOILING.

"The rice's not looking good, you're lying to people. So wet." Deku said disappointedly before continuing.

"Drain it." The video shows----

"What she doing? What she doing?!? DRAIN THE-- OH MY GOD! You killing me woman, haiyaaaaaaaa. Drain the rice? She drain the rice with colander--"

Everyone cringed, even Hawks as he hid in his wings.

"What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!" 

"If the rice too wet you fucked up. Get a nice rice cooker, don't mess with saucepan like this man right here. If the rice too wet, you recook the rice. No other way to save wet rice."

"There a lot of starch in it, so we're just gonna--" Hawks said as he washes the rice under cold running water (im crying now)

Everyone screamed as the video paused.

"I don't want to watch anymore..." Ibara cried as Sato started to get stressed.

"WHAT THE HELL?! Uncle Midoriya so upset he put his leg down!" Deku yelled as he replayed that horrifying scene again.

"First you use colander to dry the rice, now you running water on rice. Don't even bother to dry the rice." Deku said in disappointment.

As the video went on, not much happened. They were the part of mixing the rice with other ingredients when Deku looks at it in much distaste.

"This part is okay, but look to healthy. Where your MSG? You don't use MSG how you learn how to make egg fried rice? Just wHitE pEopLe eGg FriEd rIcE (im sorry, i swear im not racist)."

"Asians love their MSG, warning." Miruko said as she sits beside Hawks.

"How did you get here?" Hawks asked before Miruko gave him a bucket of KFC Chicken.

"Don't ask, birdie."

"So now let's do plating." Hawks said as she picks up the pan and scrapes up the rice using a metal spoon.

"OH NO NO NO NO NO! Why you use metal spoon on sauce pan? This is non-stick saucepan do not use metal. HAIYYYAAAA!! Your parents never teach you???" Deku yells in disappointment.

"Chemical reaction. It makes the spoon hot and it scrapes the non-stick from the pan." Momo expounded further.

"If I use metal on saucepan in home growing up, I will be disowned. No more parents." Deku explained as he shakes his head in disappointment.

"Very few things break Asians heart. First when the rice run out, next you scrape pan with metal spoon."

"Yep. we may be stubborn people, but man so little hurts us." Kirishima says as everyone else agrees.














































































anyone want Q/A before I start Horror Universes?






























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