'i bet if i give all my love,
then nothing's gonna tear us apart'
a habit of looking for love in the wrong people; everyone knows aubrey can't keep a woman.
everyone knows he has such a habit of kiss and tell, everyone knows he keeps getting h...
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it started with that first bottle of wine, which then turned into one and a half, before airie was crying on the balcony, aubrey trying to get her to explain to him, in all her drunkeness, why she was crying. the conversation had went from such a sweet, warming moment, to somehow circling to jaxson and marissa. once the last sip of her glass entered her system, it seemed like a switch had flicked on and she was overloaded with emotions and then some.
"you don't understand," airie slurred through tears, looking down at him through the darkness of the balcony, only dimly lit by the moon and a few building lights, his eyes searching hers for any semblance that the sober her was locked somewhere in there. "what don't i understand, airie?" he was kneeled in front of her, soft hiccups leaving her as she held onto his arms.
"she'll always have apart of you, she'll always have half of you. wha' am i supposed to do with the other half, huh? you gotta keep the other half," she slurred again, her mind filled with all sorts of memories from when she had calmed jax down just a week and some change ago, how her thoughts ran rampant and her heart sunk out of her chest. he obviously didn't know she was still hurting, he figured that they'd moved past this and were on a different road that included jax.
"airie," he whispered as he looked at her, feeling that familiar sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he looked at her, airie shaking her head. "how am i supposed to compete with that, huh? how am i supposed to compete with her, she has a part of you i'm never gonna get, aubrey! don't you understand that? huh?" she asked him, moving her hands to cup his cheeks as another pair of tears rolled down her warm cheeks. "i'm supposed to compete with somebody who looks like her, thinks like her, has your child- you're always gonna love her, you know? you're not always gonna love me, i'm here to just be here for the time being until you wanna go be a family with her!"
"airie!" he nearly shouted, his voice scaring her and making her look at him, gazing into his eyes silently. he didn't know at all that this was how she was feeling -- she'd never told him. "will you stop? i don't want anyone else but you, why is that so hard for you to get, drunk or sober? are you trying to push me away from you?"
"i wish i could so i didn't have to feel all this 'i love you' bullshit!" she yelled at him in response, aubrey stilling in his spot as he looked at her. he always figured that that drunken words were sober thoughts with a microphone, and as much as it stung him, he couldn't...find himself to pull away from her. hurt, yes, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away from her; even if she was drunk and wouldn't remember the majority of this in the morning, he wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"all this 'i love you' bullshit, huh?"
"all this fucking shit! so that i didn't have to feel jealous, scared, too happy because i know someone's gonna take it from me, so that i didn't have to work so hard to let myself be happy! all of this fucking shit! you make me feel all the things i felt with hayden before he changed and i know you're gonna change once you get tired of me."
