Right here, Right now ~ RINI

Chapter 25

Hello everyone, 

This is chapter 25 of 'Right here, right now',  I really hope you like it. The next month I have a lot of exams for school, so I don't know if I'm going to be able to update like I usually do. The chapters I've pre-written, I will update them like I usually do, but I don't know if I'm going to have the time to write new ones. 

We'll see, I'll let you guys know!

Anyways, I hope you like it, don't forget to vote and comment!

Hugs and kisses! 

Nini's POV

First period went by without any troubles. I didn't really pick anything up, The teacher probably noticed, but I'm glad he didn't say anything. It's not like I'm some troublestudent. I'm a straight A student, working hard to make my moms proud.

I've been longing for second period the whole time. It's weird, ever since Ricky and I decided we would give 'us' a shot, I've had this urge to constantly be with him. Mostly because his presence makes me feel calm and safe.

So when the bell rings, I quickly grab all my stuff and head to second period. As I expected nobody is there yet. Well, that happens when you rush like an idiot to your next class. I take place in the back, like Ricky and I always do.

It didn't take long for Ricky to arrive. The second he walked into class, a big smile forms itself on my face. It's weird, I mean, I always had the urge to smile when I saw him before, but it's weird now, because I no longer have to hide it. I can show how much I care for him and that I love him. I can show him that he's my world. And I love this feeling.

He takes a seat next to me and gives me a quick smile. A smile that makes my heart flutter. What a feeling.

I'm paying as much attention to what the teacher is trying to explain as last period, so as you can figure out, almost no attention at all. I'm getting lost in my thoughts again.

It all starts pretty and fine, but that doesn't last long. My mind is dragging into that dark place again. It's starting to make my doubt everything again. I take a deep breath and remember what Ricky told me this morning.

If I can't trust my head, listen to my heart instead.

Ricky seems to have heard my deep sigh and looks at me with a concerned face. I try to reassure him I'm fine by giving him a small smile. That seems to have done the trick as he turns his head back to the teacher.

I do grab his hand to reassure him even more, I intertwine our fingers and I feel his hand warm up my small, but ice cold hands.

As I do that I notice something I haven't thought about the last couple of days. My old scars on my wrist.

Gently I pull my hand away from Ricky's, pretending to take something out of my backpack, so he doesn't notice the real reason and what I'm really thinking about.

The rest of the class, I keep staring at the scars on my wrist. It doesn't really bother me that they are there, I mean, I already accepted that they are part of me now.

Ricky once told me that my scars are beautiful, not the reason why I did it, but the fact that I conquered that. I remember feeling so guilty that moment, because he didn't know I'm still cutting myself. He still doesn't know.

Just the thought makes me sick, it's like the scars on my thighs are burning now, They hurt, 24/7, and I'm kinda used to that. The pain has some weird calming effect. But not now, they are freaking me out.

Or is it the fact that he doesn't know about them?

I kept him in the dark, I didn't tell him. He told me he loved me, but I'm pretty sure that that's going to end once he knows.

I feel terrible right now, I have to talk to someone right now. Someone that isn't Ricky, but still someone I trust.