Right here, Right now ~ RINI

Chapter 38

Hello everyone! 

Here is chapter 38 of 'Right here, right now'. Hope you enjoy it! 

Hugs and kisses! 

Nini's POV

Ricky's really holding me tight. I'm not complaining but it's tighter than usual.

I slowly pull away and look him in the eyes. They're filled with adoration, but I can see some worry in them too.

"You okay?", I ask again.

"Yeah yeah", he answers hesitantly. He breaks eye contact to look around the hall, like he's looking for something.

"Is there something you're looking for?", I ask him. Our eyes meet again and they are filled with panic. He quickly shakes his head. "Then, can we go home?", I ask, only for him to reply with a quick nod. I grab his hand again and we walk home together. He remains pretty quiet during our walk home and I notice his tight grip on my hand. Not so tight that it hurts, but still, pretty tight.

At the end of my street, I stop him.

"You sure you're okay?", I ask him. He nods again, but something in the way he behaves and the look in his eyes is keeping me from believing you. "I don't believe you", I say shortly. "What happened?"

He looks at me with confusion. "What happened?", he repeats and sighs. "You are so confusing sometimes, Neens"

Now it's my turn to look at him with confusion. "What do you mean?", I say, almost like a whisper, but still loud enough so he could hear it clearly. I'm beginning to understand what he means, but I don't want it to be obvious.

"Okay, enough! Neens, we're going home and you're not shutting yourself down again. You know well enough what I mean.", he says, almost sounding a little angry or annoyed. He takes my hand again and starts walking to my house at a fast pace, making it hard for me to be able to follow him, but I manage.

He opens the front door with his key, takes off his shoes once inside and heads upstairs almost immediately. I don't follow immediately. I watch him going up the stairs, while I remain at the bottom step of the stairs.

Once he's at the top of the stairs, he noticed I'm not following again.

"I'm serious, Nina", he says, clearly getting madder and madder. I decide not to make him any angrier and head upstairs as fast as I can. Angry Ricky is pretty scary, but I try not to show it.

I see Ricky pacing back and forth in my room, while I slowly sit on my bed.

"You're not going to pretend that seeing her again didn't affect you." He says sternly.

"Of course it did, but it shouldn't", I say. I was kinda upset I let it affect me that much. I just gave her exactly the reaction she wanted.

"Then why did you pretend everything was fine for the rest of the day?" he asks me.

"Exactly because of that. I gave her the reaction she wanted, she has been gone for over a month and her presence still has that effect on me. I didn't want her to think that she still has that control over me.", I answer, kinda embarrassed.

"But does she?", he asks quietly, slowly getting closer, until he sits down next to me.

"You saw me this morning. It's scary how much control she has over my mind. Just her presence takes me right back to last time, as much as I try to stop it." I admit.

Ricky takes a deep breath and pulls me closer. I don't want to cry, I don't want to give her that satisfaction, but I do enjoy the comfort and the warmth that Ricky gives me right now.

I sigh and worry starts to overtake my mind. What will the next days, weeks, months bring for me?