Pyre - (Dabi X Reader) BNHA Fanfic

~ Part 64 ~

꧁༒☬𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓭𝓸 𝔀𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓿𝓮𝓼,
𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮?☬༒꧂

You turned away from Dabi, pressing your lips together as you squeezed your eyes shut. Desperately trying to hold the tears back. Dabi stared at you, wide-eyed, his mouth lightly parted. "I'm sorry", you whispered, turning back to look at him, sending him a forced smile. Something crossed his eyes, you couldn't quite pinpoint. He swallowed hard, you noticed, as he balled his fists, pressing them against him.

"How did you get out?", he mumbled. You raised your eyebrows, letting out a single laugh. "Dabi, you really need to upgrade your social skills. This is where you normally stop asking", you pointed out. He raised an eyebrow at you. "Yeah, well, I wanna know", he grumbled. You sighed, shaking your head. "You're really an unbearable human being sometimes", you mumbled, before sighing in defeat.

"I killed him", you stated. Dabi choked on the drink he had been taking a sip from. "What?", he blurted out. You couldn't help but chuckle, you'd never managed to catch him off guard. "Well, I thought I did anyways. I lived all this time in guilt for nothing", you chuckled dryly, "he was supposed to be dead. Jesus, that man really is – a pest, worse even".

"You actually killed someone?", Dabi asked. "Well, I tried to. It made me realize that really isn't my thing. I don't like doing it and I'm not even good at it". "How?", Dabi asked. You shrugged lightly. "I can't really remember anything...", your voice trailed off, "except for that it had happened right after he had ... he had killed one of the other two kids".

"I had been watching from a room that looked right into the foyer-place-thing. You remember the part that had the huge hole in the roof? Yeah-that room. The other kid, it was a girl. Her name was Cora. He had – that disgusting scoundrel, had adopted her from an orphanage. She was my only friend during that time, we talked any chance we got. It wasn't a lot, since we lost our voices most of the time from the screaming, or we weren't allowed to talk, but when we could, we did. She had it worse than me, so much worse. I still had chances to go home – I think he always told my mom I was on a camp, I'm not sure, she doesn't want to talk about it. She can't forgive herself that she believed him and let that happen to me", you swallowed, you couldn't seem to forgive her either. The fact that she had believed him and had been completely fine with seeing her child only for a month in 4 years, obviously pointed to the fact that she hadn't cared nearly enough, "I had a home to return to, a week each year. Cora didn't – she was stuck there. Everyday for four years. She wasn't as strong as me. No, she was stronger than me, but her body wasn't as strong as mine. He didn't care. He treated her worse than me. He had to keep me in moderate, healable conditions so that I could go home and look fine. Cora didn't. He was – he was so horrible to her. He broke her arms out of rage. He snapped them like twigs".

Your breath hitched in your throat. "We were only 9. We were only 9", you mumbled, "he would throw us with things. Metal boxes, most of the time. He blamed us for his experiments not working. He used to play this horrible game with us. It – god – it was disgusting. He had these small darts. The points where dipped into this fluid that paralyzed you. He would put the three of us into this small room and then he would throw the darts at us. He laughed when we couldn't dodge the darts anymore because out limbs were paralyzed".

"Anyways, that day. He had her strapped to the bed and he had put in more injections into her than I'd ever seen before. He was so angry that day. He then strapped these wires onto her forehead and attached one of the machines to her. It was the one machine he had never used on us. It was big and scary", you swallowed, "he pressed the button and – and it was so loud. She couldn't even scream that day; her voice was completely gone. Her back arched in pain, she writhed and tugged at the straps as this ... This horrifying sound escaped her throat. I'll never get it out of my head. It sounded like a cats wail, but as if the cats voice box was being torn out of it alive".

You shook in disgust at the vivid memory. "Y/N?", Dabi mumbled gently. You turned to stare at him, tears swimming in your eyes. The image flashed so clear in front of your eyes, the sounds were so vivid; it took every bit of your strength not to roll up into a ball and scream. Terror and disgust filled you down to the bone. "She- She exploded Dabi", you couldn't hold the sob back anymore, "her blood was everywhere. It splattered against the window he made us look through. It-It-". You weren't unable to form coherent words anymore.

Dabi had tried to hide it, but his eyes couldn't hide the terror that washed across them. It seemed to take him a moment to regain himself before he was able to speak again. "Y/N", he mumbled, before gently reaching out his hand to place it on the side of your cheek as he scooted closer, "I-I'm sorry I asked".

You couldn't help but lean into his hold, trying to stop your tears. "It's okay", you whispered. You'd never told anyone the story, and in its own strange way, it felt good just to let it all out somehow.

You looked up, curious as to Dabi stillness and the fact that his thumb had started rhythmically wiping away the tears that weren't there anymore. His eyes bore into yours, the rest of the world around you seemed to blur out. His eyes looked so pained, so ... innocent and soft. You swallowed, suddenly realizing how close you'd gotten.

"Why did you become a villain?", you blurted out your question. Dabi blinked in surprise. His hand dropped to his side as he leaned back, taking in a short breath. "We should go home", he mumbled. It wasn't harsh but you could feel him close off. He turned around, wanting to stand up. "Dabi", without thinking your hand reached out, grabbing his wrist. He froze. You could see his muscles tense.

"Please, I want to know", you mumbled quietly, "I told you my story". His muscles relaxed, yet he remained unmoving. You could tell he was torn between the two choices. "I owe you nothing. You didn't have to tell me, I simply wanted to know out of curiosity", he stated blatantly. You tried to ignore the sting in your heart.

"Who did that to you?", you mumbled, letting go of his wrist. The sudden question threw him off-guard, making him turn around. "What?".

You looked up at him. "Your scars. They couldn't have come from nowhere", you pointed out. He scoffed. "Does it matter?", he grumbled. "Why do you shut everyone out Dabi?", you mumbled. "I'm a criminal, Y/N", he mumbled sharply, throwing his hands up to emphasize, "what do you expect? Am I supposed to spill all my deepest desires and depressions out to Shigaraki or what? There is no one to talk to".

You swallowed. "Okay, I get that much, but I can see it in the way you are ... you shut everyone down". He leaned in close. "Again, Y/N. I'm a criminal. I'm a killer. I could literally end your life right now if I felt like it. You don't talk about 'your feelings' as a criminal Y/N".

You sighed in frustration. "Yeah, no shit Einstein, but I'm here! I'm willing to listen, I told you about my shitty 'feelings' and why I'm a bloody wreck and am unable to live like a normal human being, so you might as well tell me about why you became a villain. I want to know who did that to you. Who fucked you up so bad, emotionally and mentally that you've completely shut down anyone who tries to help you. You don't talk about your feelings; you push kind people away and you let negative people in. You refuse to open up and let someone love or care for you. I see it, it see it every time. And for fucks sake, god only knows why, but I want to help you. It breaks me to see you destroy yourself like this. You don't even deserve it, but I want you to have it better. So, tell me who fucking did that to you?", you were almost yelling at this point.

Dabi sat, staring at you, clearly caught off guard by your question. "I- ", he started, unable to continue his sentence. "You what?", you snapped, "you hate yourself, let me tell you that. You hate yourself at the top of your lungs. Your loathing permeates your speech. 'I'm a monster. I could kill you right now if I wanted to'. It's almost as if you're pleading anyone, yourself included, to believe your lies. It's almost – it's almost", you sighed, calming your voice, "it's almost as if you're apologizing for existing. You act as if you have to beat everyone to the punch. As if the punching bag is you. If you hate yourself first, if you hate yourself the loudest, then nobody will hurt you. You clapped your hands over your ears and shut your eyes and balled yourself up so that you'd never have to experience peoples loathing for you. And it meant you never heard their love either. You drowned it out. You screamed your hatred over it. And you never got to hear it".

He opened his mouth, before sighing and looking down. You realized you had spoken too much for your own good. You sighed. "Dabi – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- ", you started yet were interrupted. "You're right", he croaked.