Losing My Life

Chapter 10

Ryleigh finally drifted off into a deep sleep, but only for a brief period, as her mind kept her awake, terrified of what to do. Worrying about the baby and sobbing into her pillow about the rift between her and Rory. She can't decide which is more important: losing someone she cares for or loving someone she wants to see grow up. Even if she can't feel anything in her tummy yet, the baby is there.

She wakes up to see if Rory was there. The side across from her was empty with the sheets all creased and the water with the pills taken. She searches around his side to see if he left anything, but nothing. Her next thought is to check her cell, where she finds a message from him,

"Gone to the studio, see you soon".

A sigh of relief, seeing it took away the horrible thoughts, and it would give them a chance to think things over with a day apart.

Rory was supposed to have the day off in the studio, but he wanted to be away for a while as his thoughts processed into a jumbled mess. He plays the piano to take his mind elsewhere, as the melody goes through into his soul, hoping to bring him some sense of peace, but it changed into a haunting thought of his former life.

Stacie is replaced by Ryleigh, as she takes Layla's hand and walks away, upsetting him and has no intention of forgiving him as she carries their baby in her arms, wrapped in a blanket. There's nothing he can do when the men tie him down in their police uniforms. He overhears his daughter utter the excruciatingly painful words, "Why does daddy have to leave?"

Ryleigh looks at him and back to his daughter, "Because he broke a lot of promises".

The pain of seeing this happening flows to his fingertips and goes off-key, and he takes his hands off the piano. His mind is playing tricks on him with his heart pounding, and he can't seem to get rid of them. The tiredness takes it's toll, and rubs his hands over his face.

'Not sure if that's the new angle we could go with.' A deep voice says into the microphone. Rory looks up to view Cameron on the other side of the glass with a corner smile. Company is not what he needs right now, and he picks up his jacket to leave the recording booth.

'What are you doing here? I thought you wanted the day off.' Cameron asks.

Rory shuts the door and leans on the wall crossing his arms. Even keeping his body up became a struggle. 'I needed some time to think.'

'About the tour?'

He shook his head and wondered what to honestly say, as he likes Cameron but was still cautious with new people. 'My girlfriend is sick. So she can't come on tour with me....' He unfolds his arms and puts his hand in his pockets, 'Sorry, I know you arranged everything with her there.'

'It's fine. All the places are booked the same way for one person.' he smiles with empathy, 'I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend, I hope it isn't too serious.'

Rory appreciates his friendly gesture, but if he knew the truth, he'd probably say the same thing everyone else says: "Congratulations on becoming a father."

'Would you be able to tour?' Cameron speaks again, getting his attention. 'Would she need to be looked after?'

'No, she has friends that can.'

'Great.' Cameron walks over and gives him two pats on the shoulder, 'Get some rest. You seem like you need it.'

The dark circles under his soft eyes were clear enough to make the assumption, and Rory left the studio.

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He would drive straight home, but it took him longer this time, as he would have to face Ryleigh again, and he's not ready. As he thinks about yesterday and how he behaved about the whole thing, it made him think about how she felt, and she must have been devastated. Finally, he gives up circling L.A. and must approach her at some point. Trenching his way in, figuring out which room he should go to, but to only be stopped.

'Hey, how was studio?' Ryleigh says as she fiddles with her hands. The black vest top, curving around her chest, and dark denim jeans makes his heart leap with the urge to hold her.

'Yeah...it was fine.' He says quietly.

'How's...your...head?' She keeps the distance between them, but she can recognize the small chat occurring.

'All good, thank you.'

She smiles back, hoping he would do the same, but he never did. She stares at him and wonders what he is thinking, as talking wasn't helping. For him, it is difficult to find the words to express what has happened in the last twenty-four hours. He seemed exhausted, and it disturbed her deeply.

She falls into his arms, missing his touch. For him leaving this morning made her heart skip a beat. The smell of her perfume reminds Rory of how much he missed her too. Even for them to be close to each other, they felt so far away. Ryleigh gazes into his eyes before kissing him and pressing her body against his while gripping his hair.

The affection rushes in his body and returns with his hand moving up to her cheek. The chemical reaction runs into their bodies and the temptation for more. For Rory, it became too hard to handle, and he walked away from her as he examines her stomach and realizes she is carrying a little human inside of her.

'I'm sorry I ruined your birthday.' He says with guilt.

Ryleigh shakes her head, 'You didn't. I loved it. Everything about it was wonderful.'

He looks away, as her voice made him desire for her lips again. Her pleasant gratitude for her birthday party surprises him with her uplifting spirit.

'How...how can you see the good in everything?'

'Because it's no good letting what happened yesterday get to you. Today is a new day.' She treads closer again, 'Which is what I think we are now ready to talk about?' Ryleigh looks down at her stomach and places her hand here, and his eyes go down there too. 'Please.' she whispers.

'I don't know...' he treads back to her bright green eyes.

'Ok. Whenever you want to, just say.' She holds onto his hand and squeezes it with a smile.

The hope in her eyes gives him the feeling that he can tell her anything he wants, but a small voice in the back of his mind warns him against it. The dream in his mind returns to him as he calls her name, and she never turns, as if he were dead to her. He is wearing an orange jumpsuit with bruises on his arms as he struggles for his freedom.

Ryleigh walks away, realizing that he's going to take more time to decide because it's just sinking into him that he's going to be a father again. The time she spent alone contemplating helped her understand how he responded to the news, as she had reacted similarly when the results revealed positive. She knows that being optimistic about it and not pressing too hard for an answer is the best way to get Rory to move forward.

They never fight often, or raise their voices too loud at each other, as it will never solve anything. When one of them is angry, they give them space to reflect and come back when they are ready to. If Rory is mad, she writes a note to him with a cup of tea attached and places it in the room he is in as a peace offering. If Ryleigh is a little mad, he leaves her for a while until she enters the same room as him and will block her exit. Because of how much she overthinks, he would tell her to speak it out, and then he would say to her not to fight anymore and falls back into his arms again.

In the kitchen, she leaves a tea with a note that he picks up and says,

"Thank you for the best birthday ever."

There is a slight grin on his lips, and he takes the drink away with him. Ryleigh catches him, and maybe she'll get the response she wants.

Hoping he will say something before he goes away.