Losing My Life

Chapter 35

He became dizzy walking down the corridors because he had no intention of returning to his hotel room anytime soon. Finally, Rory masters the concrete stairwell, climbing higher and higher. The muscles in his calves tense up, and he refuses to give up.

When he reaches the top, he pushes the fire exit door open. The open air of the city and the sound of traffic remind him of home. The fresh air cleared his mind, and he felt his body tremble with guilt.

Ryleigh, who is so sweet and innocent, has provided him with a happy and stable life he so desperately desired. Rory envisions a future with them all, including their expected child and Layla loving her soon-to-be brother or sister.

That night, when she was warm in his embrace from the love they made the first time, he told her he loved her, and the rest is history. Rory grew as much as she did in popularity and prosperity, and he believes he is becoming the man his mother envisioned, and Rory's brother will be proud of him.

He convinces himself that he doesn't deserve her because of his reckless past, which should have made her run in the other direction. But nothing can change what happened long ago, and the fact that she didn't seem to care or make a big deal about it drew him closer.

Valentina is sexy and attractive, and her seducing Rory piqued his curiosity. But that was him years before, and he should never have behaved like that now as he is a changed man. As a consequence, he decided to admit his mistakes in the hopes that Ryleigh would understand. With the dark cloud over the horizon, he grips his phone as he observes the skylines around him, ready to dial her number.

The phone rang for what seemed like an eternity, long enough to assume she wasn't going to pick up. It's not too late to hang up and keep quiet about it. The dialling then stops,

"Hey, this is Ryleigh, please leave a message", Rory listens and waits for the beep tone.

'Hey beautiful....I miss you....' His tone started to change, '....baby... I've done something bad......'

When he looks up to the sky, he considers praying. '.... I've done it in no way to upset you....I love you...you're my everything....'

Rory sighs, '...Me and Valentina.....we kissed, but not too long. I was thinking of you, and how stupid I am....I-I fucked up....' He returned his gaze to the city as the pain in his neck started to ache.

'.... I'm sorry, I need you, please don't hate me. I don't want to see you go....I want to hear your voice... please call me back.....I love you.' He re-inserts his phone into his pocket and examines the city once more.

He'll never forget the time when they went to the awards together on the TV show. The gown she wore that night made his palms tingle. Ryleigh was nervous, and he would let her squeeze his hand to keep her safe as she walked down the red carpet and was asked challenging questions.

They were on the verge of kissing that night, and the possibility of feeling her lips again after working on the music video the same week sparked their interest. The more time he spent with her, the more he became fascinated by the wave of frustration he had for her lips. But she was tipsy and respected her decision on why,

"..I want us to be sober enough to remember...", Ryleigh said. He thought the whole night was beautiful, but having her there was the most beautiful part of it.

He returns to his hotel room, numb and silent. As Rory closes the door and leans against it, tilting his head back, Josh looks over, confused.

'You alright?' he quizzes, and he is silent, 'Rory?' When he hears his name, he moves his head to look at Josh.

'I fucked up... I'm going to lose everything.' He says quietly.

'What are you on about?'

As he peels himself away from the door, Rory sits on the bed and shakes his head.

'I'm going to lose her...'

Josh puts his phone and laptop down and sits on the other side of the bed,

'...I kissed her,' he confesses, 'she was there, tempting me...I feel such an idiot.' Rory stands up and starts pacing around the room.

'Who, Valentina?'

'Yes.' he stops, 'But it didn't mean anything...and I stopped. I had to leave...'

'Rory....I don't know what to say...at least, you know it was wrong...' Josh says, as he watches his friend fall apart right in front of his eyes. '...What are you going to do?'

'I called Ryleigh and told her.'

His eyes widen, 'You did what?'

'She didn't pick up, and I left a message, saying I'm sorry and I love her....I don't want her to go.'

'Why did you do that? You should have talked to me first.'

'What good would that do? I made a mistake, and she deserves to know. I don't want to keep secrets from her.'

'Yeah, but Kelsie and I would've helped you both. We're not just you're PAs. We're your friends too. We want what's best for you and Ryleigh....and that's each other.'

'I know. Without her, it's like losing a part of my life.' Rory rubs his face and returns to the bed.

'Look, all relationships have hard times....and yes, you've done something stupid. But with Ryleigh, I don't think she'll turn her back on you.' Josh says, 'You have a child together and a future in your career. It was only a kiss....right?'

Rory nods, but Josh's optimism seems overstretched from his point.

'Let me talk to Kelsie and see what she says.... I'm hoping she's not heard the message yet...'

He gets up and opens the balcony doors. Rory remains seated on the bed, trying to take his mind off it all. He doesn't want to go through the joint custody process with their child, and the thought of her leaving is hurting his heart. More than anything, he wants to know how she feels about what he has done.

As Josh waits, he fears Rory's world will crumble around him, even if Ryleigh would forgive him. Taking a setback in his career to prove that she is everything to him. However, it would suffocate them both and put Ryleigh under pressure as the family's breadwinner.

There is also pressure from their fans and the media, putting them under even more strain. Josh and Kelsie are the glue that holds them together by supporting them and pointing them in the right direction.

'Come one pick up....' Josh mumbles quietly.