𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 | ✔

Chapter 29

*Jay's POV*

My dream wasn't really a dream, actually I wasn't tired at all, but I couldn't bear to look at Erin anymore.
I was touched by her words, even if I saw no reason for myself to go on living, I did it for her.
"Erin?" She sat next to me and held my hand, she did it so that she could feel my pulse because her finger was on the inside of my wrist.
"Do you need anything?" She was about to jump up and get me something.
"No. I... I need to talk." I was having a hard time getting the words out, but I had to say them.
"Of course." She turned to me and I saw so many emotions in her eyes and I just knew that no matter where I would ever be, as long as Erin was there, I would be home.
"I just wanted to let you know that I considered that thing about killing myself. Made up my mind not to." I could see the relief in her eyes.
"I never thought I'd say that, but I'm really happy that you decided to live on." She hugged me and I hugged her back.
"Your words were really touching, Erin. You saved me." If she wouldn't have been there I definitely would have pulled the trigger.
"I didn't really do something. I just told you how I feel about you. About us. And I really can't live without you. Jay, do you want to spend the rest of my life with me as my husband?" I looked at her in shock.
"D..Did you just propose to me?" I wasn't sure if my mind was tricking me again.
"Yes. I guess I did." She started crying.
"Yes. I want to marry you. But isn't it like my job to propose to you?" She just shrugged her shoulders and then we fell into each other's arms.
"I felt like there was no better time to ask you." She had tears in her eyes and I wiped a few away from her cheeks.
"This was the perfect time." I started undressing her and she undid my pants. My body and mind resisted her touch, I said nothing, but she noticed and stepped away from my touch.
"I'm gonna be fine." I tried to assure her.
"It's okay. I knew you wouldn't be ready and that's fine, Jay. Don't worry." She smiled at me and then started cooking us food so I could have a moment to myself.
I was just mad at myself. Erin had fucking proposed to me and I couldn't even let her touch me without feeling disgusted at myself and wanting to vomit.
"Jay? Are you fine with some pasta? I don't got anything fancy right now but I could go buy something if you want." I heard her calling from the kitchen.
"Pasta sounds awesome!" I answered her and than walked into the bathroom.
I splash some water on my face, but when I looked up and saw my reflection in the mirror, the events and images that I had experienced were showed off in my head like a presentation.

*Erin's POV*

I wanted to leave Jay alone, but I heard some sort of whimper from the bathroom, so I went to look and found him sitting on the floor, trembling.
"Jay?" He didn't reacted to me calling his name so I gently shook his shoulder and his head snapped up and he looked at me. Or rather say he looked through me, like he wasn't really recognising me but saw something else.
"It's Erin." I sat down across from him on the floor and suddenly his posture changed.
"It happened again, did it?" It wasn't the first time he hadn't noticed my presence, but of course I didn't blame him.
"Just relax. He isn't here. He won't get you." I handed him a glass of water.
"Thanks." Jay got up and walked towards the kitchen.
I just followed him and set the table for dinner.