𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 | ✔

Chapter 63

*Jay's POV*

My world collapsed. The medics were able to reanimate Erin, but she had lost a lot of blood and it was not clear whether she would make it. One thing was clear, and that was that the baby would not make it. And I knew what that would do to Erin when she found out about it.
Right now I was sitting in front of the doors of the operating area.
Upton and Voight had arrived at the same time as us, but I didn't want them around because I just couldn't stand having to speak to someone now.
Everytime the doors opened I looked up bit it was never Erin's doctor or someone I knew.
I blamed myself for what had happened to Erin.
The man who ran Erin over and then fled was picked up less than three blocks away by Burgess and Ruzek and was now sitting in the cage at the district.
Since I couldn't deal with all the feelings I was feeling at the moment, I wanted to make room for at least one of them and that was the anger at him.
"Jay Halstead. Intelligence. I'm taking over now." Luckily there was only one patrolman with him and nobody from the unit, because he gave me the key immediately and then left without my having to say anything.
"You're that guy from earlier." He had a cheeky tone and I was unlocking the door already.
"Am I free to go, officer?" He grinned at me and I landed the first hit in his face. I didn't care that he was tied up and that it was anything but fair.
"First of all. I'm a Detective. Second of all. You are anything but free to go." I rammed my knee between his legs, causing him to groan and bend forward and gasp for air.
The first thing he did after he could breathe normally again was a couple of comments about Erin and that made me freak out.
My fist landed on his body several times, and I was sure I had broken him some rips and the nose.
"Jay!" I turned around, breathing hard, and stood nose to nose with Adam.
"Are you out of your mind? How are we suppose to explain what happened down here to a judge? If there are any witnesses then you had your batch for the longest time." Ruzek looked at me in disbelief.
"I don't care. This bas*ard might have killed Erin and if that is the case this was just the beginning of what he is going to see of me." I looked at Maximilian with hatred and he refrained from making a cheeky comment.
"I need to go back to Erin." I didn't know how long I had been here and I wanted to be there when she wakes up
"If you go out like this the first person to see you will call the cops on you. Jay you're full of blood. You look like you just murdered someone. At least change your close and clean yourself a bit." Adam didn't give me a choice, because he just took me to the lockerroom.

*Erin's POV*

When I woke up, I immediately put my hands on my belly. What I felt made me burst into tears.
My belly was almost as flat as it was before the pregnancy and I knew it was way too early for my baby to have a chance of survival.
"Erin. Erin please look at me." I knew that it was Jay talking but I couldn't look at him.
Jay had to blame me for not having another child because it couldn't be any other way.
He had told me that he didn't want me to come along, but I just couldn't and wouldn't accept that I wasn't feeling well enough. The moment the man approached me, I knew it wasn't going to end well.
Just the memory of the last moments when I still had my daughter was enough for me to start crying bitterly again.
"Erin." Jay's voice was soft but I couldn't stand his touch. Not after what I did to our daughter. Not after what I did to him or our family.
"Go please." I didn't open my eyes. My voice wasn't trembling when I said the words and there weren't any emotions hearable.
"Erin don't... This isn't the way this is going down. We will do it together." Jay grabbed my hand but I pulled away.
"Go." If he didn't go now, I couldn't say it again.
Jay was my fixed point.
The person I felt most comfortable with and to whom I entrusted everything.
He had helped me many times, but this time he couldn't help me.
When the door closed behind him, I turned and opened my eyes for the first time.
I had made the devastating decision to go through this on my own and I knew I couldn't do it on my own, but Jay couldn't be further burdened by the chaos that I was causing around me.