The Grindelwald's

Chapter 21

It's hard trying to process this whole grieving thing for some people, but for me I guess it was easier since I was somewhat accepted that Ryker was gone before anyone could conform it. It's hard not having to write back to anyone, that I know longer will be receiving flowers with meaning. That I will no longer go back home to see the person that I really wanted to see.

Most of all that for the rest of my life I'll live with the guilt. The guilty of realizing wat too late that I still had the guilt that I left him behind. I would never forgive myself for that and I don't think I would ever get over this.

Did it really have to end like this for me to see that he is the one I wanted to be with. I feel so stupid for not trying to do more. If it wasn't for my stupid problems then I would've spent my time trying to fix things between us.

But here I am alone dealing with that for the rest of my life. Ryker definitely didn't deserve any of this, he deserved much more. But he's gone for good and there's nothing much to do or say that will bring him back.

For this I blame myself, father and mostly on MATTHEO. FUCKIN. RIDDLE.

I reach under my bed and pull out a box of Rykers things. Like letters he never gave to me, pictures, and other personal belongings. Someone knocked on the door and I quickly put everything away.

"Hey I-..you told me that you would let him go, and that wouldn't look through that box again". Pansy walked over and helped me put everything away.

"Yeah buts it's not that easy"

Pansy pulled me into a side hug, "I know but you need to bring peace with yourself".

"How? every time I slowly get back up I get knocked down again". I look off to the side so she couldn't see that I was tearing up. Pansy rubs my back in comfort and hides the box away.

"Well it's Draco's birthday so can you at least look happy just for today?".

"I'll see what I can do". I opened my closet and pull out Draco's gift. It's kinda of hard to get Draco something, of course rings were more of his thing and plus his parents gave him everything so there wasn't much to give him that he would need. So I just went with a classic ring, it's a silver chain ring.

"Well I'll see you later in class then and if you need anything just let me know". Pansy grabbed her books and walked out the door.

I gathered my things and rushed outside the common room, I only had 20 minutes to grab breakfast. I go sit at the gryffindor table with Ethan and the trio, they kept going on about Voldemort's return. Thought I had nothing to comment about it and it was best not too since I would look like a complete idiot since I'm a Grindelwald.

"So Ash how are you doing with your studies, you know we only got this week left of school. So if you need help with your assignments I can help you". Hermione has been offered to help me out with my studies for awhile but I always said no. I didn't want her to think that I would just use her intelligence at my advantage, plus I was all caught up now and I've been doing great.

"It's fine Hermione, plus I'm all caught up so thank you for it". I smiled at her and continued eating my food.

"Oh here comes trouble", Ethan whispered into my ear and I look up to see Max making his way towards Asher. Thought it seemed like Asher had no idea that an angry Max was coming his way.

"Asher!", Max voice booms and the others just turned around to see what was about to go down.

Asher looked up and he looked nervous at first but stayed there waiting for Max. They two boys started to shove each other and exchange some words but I couldn't make out what.