Sirius's long fingers were drumming the railing of the balcony. He dragged on the cigarette and blew out puffs of smoke. The sky was already dark and filled with stars. He tried to slow his breathing. His tapping stopped and he put out the stick - time to face the music.
Stepping over to the inside of the flat, Sirius saw Joanna's meek figure at the table in her usual spot. Everyone else was finishing setting the bowls in place, putting the rolls of bread in the middle of the table, and serving pumpkin juice in the glass cups that were rarely used by the boys. They were doing this in an attempt to act normal, tried being the keyword. Dull conversation filled the air; "let me pass this over" or "yes" or "no" or "here you go" or anything in between was being exchanged and muffled by the clanking of plates and pots washing.
Jo looked over as she heard his recognizably light footsteps draw near.
"Joanna, is this much alright?" Lily was holding a bowl less than a quarter of the way full of broth.
Joanna broke the eye contact, focusing her attention on Lily, "Yes, thank you."
"Be careful, Joanna. Don't burn yourself and don't rush especially if your throat hurts." Kate cautioned.
"It's fine." was all Joanna could come up with.
Sirius sat down next to her and slowly placed his hand on her leg, making sure he did not startle her. Her back, which had been as straight as a needle, relaxed at his touch.
"Merlin, James you almost ate all of the rolls!" cried Lily.
"If it were up to him, he would have this all to himself!" Remus muttered just low enough everyone but James could hear.
Unaware, James looked confused as everyone else laughed, including his sister. Dinner went on with an air of weariness that lingered, but some sense of normalcy remained.
Kate had already left, Lily was sleeping with James in case Joanna needed something, and Remus was already catching up on some hard-to-come-by sleep. Joanna was in the bathroom brushing her teeth while Sirius was changing his clothes. He was so nervous about the sleeping arrangement he did not notice putting on his pajamas. He paced back and forth around the room for what seemed like ages until the door opened and Joanna walked in. He stood still as he stared at her, his mind suddenly drawing a blank on how to interact with a girl. She stuck her hand out seeking his and led him to the bed, getting under the covers and away from the miserable winter cold. He could see the gauze cover the entire length of her back and the surrounding redness from the scratches.
"It should have been me," he whispered. "I should be like this, not you."
"I was stupid enough to --" she argued,
He interrupted, "You didn't know and you don't deserve it, you're too good."
She turned to face him, "I'm sorry." A tear made its way down her cheek.
His hand cupped her face, "You have nothing to be sorry for, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have let you join the Order --"
"No, I wanted to and I still do. These are the... risks we have to take," she replied.
He protested, "I hate this bloody war, and I hate what they did to you!"
She reasoned, "That's why we have to continue fighting, to stop it, and to prevent this from ever happening again."
They stared at each other for minutes without saying anything. Simply taking it all in. At this moment, Sirius tried to memorize every worry line on her forehead, every freckle on her cheeks, every glint in her eyes, everything about Joanna's face imprinted like a tattoo on his brain. Joanna's eyelids grew heavy as she got lost in his sea of grey.
His soft and begging voice spoke, "Just. Promise me something."
"Hm?" she questioned.
He continued, "Promise me that I won't lose you. That you won't put yourself in front of Death Eaters, or meet up because of some skeptic letter, or sacrifice your life for the rest of us."
She replied, "Only if you promise me the same, Sirius."
His lips met hers for a short time as the answer. It was nothing too passionate or long, but very much needed.
His arms wrapped around her body as they finally closed their eyes, "I love you."
"I love you," she echoed and the light went out.
YOU ARE READING
The Other One | Sirius Black
Fanfiction"I'm sorry, I just... remembered something," she muttered as her fingers traced the scars on her throat. He placed his hands on her shoulders before whispering, "It's just me." "It's just you," she sighed. ...
