The Other One | Sirius Black

Chapter 55 - Happiness

He was back under the bright lights and freezing temperature that felt surreal in the waiting area of the hospital. People walked past him unaware of what was going on. This time, though, Lily wasn't standing by him to ease his qualms while he waited for the others to show up.

Eighteen years ago, he was also in the waiting area with his father. He didn't remember if he was also freezing and uncomfortable under the fluorescents, but he did recall sitting next to his mother while she sang a newborn Joanna to sleep. She was a small bundle of pink arms and legs and had a mop of unruly dark hair. He remembered feeling complete and utter happiness.

As excited as he was to have his own small bundle of pink arms and legs and unruly black -- or ginger -- hair, James Potter was scared. He knew how to be a brother, but not how to be a dad. And he wasn't doing well in the sibling department, so that didn't comfort him either. The one thing he should have mastered at that point had crumbled before him. Because he was stupid. The morning after their argument, James began to regret what he said. Or rather, how he said it.

Now at St. Mungo's, James wasn't only anxious for his child to arrive but also for Jo and Sirius to show up. At least, he hoped they would.

Suddenly, a healer beckoned for him to return to Lily's room. He had passed out soon after seeing Lily dilated three centimeters so the healers thought it was best if he stayed outside until the very moment the baby would be born.

He walked in to see a gracefully beet-red Lily with her heavenly copper hair picked up in a very sweaty ponytail. If it weren't for the head popping out of her, he could have melted at the sight of his wife. He couldn't quite comprehend how she managed to make something as traumatic as childbirth seem beautiful.

With a not-so-gentle shove from the healer's assistant, James was once again by his wife's side, holding her hand. But the pit in his stomach did not go away -- not even when a wail erupted in the room, and a fidgety baby was in sight. It's just another baby, he thought. No sparks flared up to surround the family of three. His eyes weren't glistening with a newfound sense of joy. On the other hand, Lily immediately smiled when the baby came out. Partly because she no longer had to push, but also because her child was born.

The healers scurried about casting a Vanishing spell on the umbilical cord and wrapping the baby in blue blankets. James chuckled beside Lily, wiping the sweat off his brow, and wishing he could also wipe the underwhelming feeling inside him. Was he a bad parent if he couldn't quite connect with the brand-new human he made? Eventually, the green-robed wizards handed over the bundle of pink skin and dark hair to the young woman that was laying on the bed.

James watched as Lily cooed and hummed and traced every detail on the baby's face. Being a mother suited her, he realized. One thing was for sure, he loved Lily Potter.

"Sweetheart, do you want to hold him?" she whispered. A few minutes ago, she had been screaming to the top of her lungs and gripping his hand so hard he thought it might break, and now she was so angelic and quiet he couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny? Is my hair all over the place? Because James Potter I just gave bir--" She was interrupted with a kiss. James almost accidentally smothered the baby in her arms, but he needed to feel something.

As he parted his lips from hers, he replied, "You couldn't look more lovely, my love."

What he wanted to say was, "I'm afraid I won't love the baby as much as I love you," but he didn't because in that instant, Lily carefully placed the swaddled bundle of 'joy' in his arms and he didn't have any choice but to look down at the brand-new human.