The Other One | Sirius Black

Chapter 63 - Trust

She could still feel the warmth on her cheek when James wiped away her tears. And Lily's vanilla scent had not yet gone from the tip of her nose. If they ran back to the floo station, Jo was sure she could catch James and Lily before they left Dumbledore's office. She would say she forgot to give them back Harry's blanket, or remind James he owes her mum's cobbler recipe. Anything that could give Jo and Sirius a couple more minutes with their family. The way James' hand rested on her face like he used to when she needed to calm down after a fight over their toys. The familiar smell of baking at home from Euphemia, and now Lily. The memories were almost as strong as the nagging feeling in her stomach.

"Since when have you felt this way?" Jo said with a lilt in her voice. The pair decided walking back to the flat would be best; their stomachs were too upset to handle an apparition after flooing to an intermediate chimney from Hogwarts.

Sirius watched his breath dissipate in the cold air, "Ever since he went off with the wolves, Lupin's been up in everyone's business, and he comes out unscathed in all the missions when the rest of us get hurt." His fingers tightened around hers.

"So he's lucky. Don't you think he's had his fair share of suffering? Shouldn't we be glad he doesn't get hurt?" She shot out, trying not to let her teeth chatter.

A muggle couple was walking toward their direction, talking about their plans for the new year, or what colored ornaments they should put on the tree. They seemed older. She was 39 and he 42. No children, but a bickering dog and a cat. They would travel everywhere for the summer holiday and bring back gifts for all their nieces and nephews. They had been happily married for ten years and it was their 12th Christmas together. That's how Jo imagined them as they passed by, too distracted to notice her. Too in-love and carefree to notice anything wrong in the world.

"— and I don't think any of it makes sense." She picked up on Sirius' last words.

Shaking her head, Jo asked, "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, sputtering out a few words before stopping his pace. Jo felt a tug at her arm.

As she took a step back, he finally repeated, "I know I should be glad he hasn't gotten hurt. Anyone who doesn't should be very lucky. And yet I can't help but think why he's the only one who hasn't. It doesn't make sense."

While making sense of Sirius's words, she heard his after-thought, "I hope you were listening this time."

"Of course I was."

He let out a low hum, crossing his arms and waiting for her to respond. Her hand now hung limply on her side.

"I got dist—"

"Distracted. Yes, I could tell."

She took a deep breath. "Let me finish. I don't think Rem is behind this. He can't possibly be the —"

"And why not?"

"Why would he? He gains nothing from doing so."

"He has no money because he can't get a job because he's a—" Sirius lowered his voice when an old lady walked past, "Werewolf."

She furrowed her brows. "He's with us. He has everythi—"

"But it's not his. Sure, he lives with us, but it's your home. He has nothing."

Rolling her eyes, Jo reasoned, "You might as well call yourself the mole too since the flat isn't—"

He shook his head, "I have a name, and an inheritance from Uncle Al. I don't need anything, and I can get a job if I wanted to."

She gesticulated, "Alright. Can you not interrupt me?"

"Only if you actually listen to what I'm saying," he pointed at her.

"I am..." She looked off to the side. Twinkling lights were on display in a restaurant. It was mostly empty, except for a family inside. Two small children were running about while the parents ate. The boy was chasing his little sister. It reminded her of Harry.

Sirius's voice came back into focus, "If you were, you would understand my point."

Jo snapped resolutely, "I do get it, I just refuse to believe it." Her face felt hotter than before, not calming at all.

"Have I not explained myself well? How's it possible you refuse to believe me?" He was pointing at his chest now. His tone had a slight quiver. I do believe you, she almost said. But what he was trying to say was too incomprehensible.

"I'm asking myself the same question. You've known each other for years, why won't you trust him?"

The children were eating, but the parents had stopped. Jo could feel the holes in the back of her head.

"Can't you see? That's your problem, Jo, you trust too easily," Sirius spat, his nostrils were flaring. His face was almost covered from the clouds of his breath.

Jo was dumbfounded. How do I respond to that? He had done the damage and hit her where it hurt the most. And the worst part was that it was true.

"What happ— Why won't you trust him?" She repeated. Joanna tried latching on to those words instead of his. But his were ringing in her ears like an instrument that had been poorly tuned.

Sirius's back was facing her as he leaned his head on the brick wall. He muttered, "You're difficult sometimes, you know that, right?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it," he waved her off. Already taking a few steps forward.

They paused again by a dumpster alley. No families would be looking there. "You can't just insult me, and then pretend it's okay to do so," she hissed.

Before he could refute, Jo continued, "And let me tell you something. You're bloody difficult too. You think with your leather jacket and your motorbike and the two packs of cigarettes you smoke every other day you can get by, but you're wrong. So I apologize if I'm the difficult one. But I'm trying to hold on to the last good things we've got. And that includes Remus."

Her heart was racing. She didn't mean half of what she just said. She loved his leather jacket and rides on his motorbike. And how he kept his cool, despite everything.

"Of course, it's always Remus this and Remus that. Clearly, you haven't learned from your mistake. You'll—"

She interjected, "What happened to me telling you everything? Shouldn't that apply to you too?"

He had left her in the dark. He didn't tell her anything and it hurt that he only brought it up when she wouldn't be able to say no.

His defeated sigh followed, "I did. Right now in Dumbledore's office. I needed to make sure I had proof. That it isn't unfounded, Joanna."

"But couldn't you have told me before? Couldn't you have... I don't know what my point is anymore. I'm tired, Sirius."

Jo began walking away, and like so many years before, she left right as a faint shout echoed in the darkness, "Jo, wait!"

A/N: I apologize for the irregular updates. They will continue, but not for long! May or may not have been inspired by Conan Gray's "People Watching" for that one paragraph. Xx!