"Read all you want" [Frerard]

2: Gerard Way is pretty much gay

Gerard

"And I love you sugar. I'll see you soon!" I say to Lyn-Z through my phone. "I love you too Gee. Can't wait to see you again! Oh Bandit calls for me. I've got to go. Bye my love!" she says, and before I can say bye back, she ends the phone call. I sigh and stare outside of the window. The cars look so small from up here in the bus. Then I sigh and close my eyes.

Things have changed. And not just a little. I truly loved Lyn-Z when I married her. But the last year... I think it faded away. Of course I still like her, but I don't love her anymore. I think of her in the same way I think about Mikey, or Ray. She truly means a lot to me... I'm just done with our relationship. Though of course I know I can't leave her. For Bandit's sake.

But I want to.

I want to leave Lyn-Z and then run into my best friend's arms to tell him how much I want him. How much I need him. And how much I love him. Because while my love for Lyn-Z faded away, my feelings towards Frank grew stronger and stronger.

And last night... Fuck... I woke up and then I heard him... he was jerking off, I could hear the little sounds of skin touching skin, I heard him pant, and moan, and I had to grip the sheets to keep myself from making any sounds. It was so fucking hot. I imagined what it'd be like, lying op top of him, hearing him moan while fucking him into oblivion and ohhh... And then he came and I couldn't help but press my crotch into the sheets.

Frank heard and immediately went quiet, so I just pretended I had just woken up and asked him if I just heard him jerk off and if he could do that in the shower next time. Not because I didn't like the sounds of Frank jerking off, but because I didn't want to get caught getting off on him. I lay there for about ten minutes, waiting for Frank to fall asleep again. And then I couldn't hold back anymore and rubbed my hips against the sheets until I came.

I really don't know what to do. There are too many options but not one seems to fit and it's driving me crazy. Maybe I just need to leave things like they are. I'll stay with Lyn-Z, and I'll just keep turning my feelings for Frank into Frerard fanfics. Yes. I think that's the best thing to do.

It's funny to know that all my readers have no idea that it's Gerard Way writing their favourite fanfics. It's even more funny when they send me messages and start fangirling all over me and Frank. How they truly seem to believe that Frerard is real. I wish it would be...

I sigh and decide that I should get my mind off of things, before I'm a crying mess again. I want to stay strong. I don't want to become like how depressed I was back in 2004. But somehow I know that I can't live like this that much longer. I stand up and walk to my closet to grab my iPod, headphones and my laptop, and then I sit down in my bunk. I open my laptop and put my iPod on shuffle. I open my mailbox and I smile when I see five new comments on the one shot I wrote yesterday. I smile as I read them. They all really loved it! I reply to the comments and then I open a blank document to write a new one shot.

Gerard
I walk into the tour bus after the show and I quickly walk towards my bunk. I am so fucking tired... The others are still at the venue, but all I wanted was to just sleep. I take off my clothes and-

"Gerard! We're at the hotel and- hey what are you writing?" I hear Frank's voice from behind me. I quickly slam my laptop shut and turn around to face Frank, my cheeks red in embarrasment.

"It's nothing."

"Aahh come on Gee!"

"No Frank it was nothing. Just... just don't ask me anymore okay. So hotel. Have you guys already decided who sleeps together in one room?" I say, changing the subject. Frank narrows his eyes but then decides to let it go.

"Yeah. Ray and Mikey are together, and so are we. You should pack your stuff." Frank says, smiles to me and then walks away. I sigh in relief. I should pay more attention next time...

I quickly pack the stuff I need at the hotel, and then I follow the others inside.