"Read all you want" [Frerard]

25: Sad Times

Frank

I sit down on my couch and watch TV. Gerard is picking up Bandit. I think he'll be back in about ten minutes. I am glad to be alone for a little while. Not because I don't like being around Gee, quite the opposite, but being alone gives me time to think. To think about everything that has been happening.

Yesterday had been nice. I loved being with Ray and Mikey again. I also loved how they absolutely didn't mind the fact that Gerard and I didn't hide our kind if relationship. Actually, Ray smiled every time I asked Gerard for permission for something. At first I still blushed every time, but Mikey pointed out that I shouldn't be ashamed and how cute he thought Gerard and I were together. After a while, I noticed that he actually meant it, and by the end of the day, it felt completely normal.

I am so happy to have friends like them. It means so much to me that they accept me. Even the weird little parts of me. It almost makes me cry.

But the sound of a harsh knocking on the door distracts me from my thoughts, and I look up in confusion. Huh? Who could that be? Gerard already? No... He has the keys. I sigh and stand up. I walk to the front door and open it. I frown when I see who's there.

"M-mom?" I stutter out. "Why are you-" she doesn't let me finish and walks past me, inside the house. I blink in confusion, and then I shut the door and follow her. She sits down on my couch and looks up at me. "We need to talk."

Suddenly I get very angry. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I hiss and take a step forward. My mother just rolls her eyes. "Oh stop it, Frank. I mean it. Come sit down. We need to talk." I groan in frustration and sit down next to her. "What is it?" I snap at her.

She sighs and stares at me, and in that moment I suddenly remember that I am wearing a collar, and that my love bites are still very visible. Well fuck. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend? Where is she?" I sigh. "Mom. Tell me why you are here and leave."

She gives me a look of disapproval, and it hurts me more than I expected. I swallow and try not to show my pain. I don't want her to see how vulnerable I am. "Your father and I need money, we-"

"No. Forget it." I cut her off. She gasps and looks at me. "What? Frank, honey, don't be so angry, there's no-"

"Leave."

Now I see that she's getting angry as well. "Frank Anthony Iero. You are our son! All you've ever done is make our lives a living hell, and now you have a chance to make up for it and you don't even take it? How fucking stupid are you? Maybe that's exactly what you are. Stupid. Explains the collar around your neck. You're such a freak, Frank." she snaps at me. I freeze.

Stupid.

Freak.

I start to tremble. She's always been calling me this. Always. No matter how hard I tried to be the perfect son. My dad was even worse... I only told Gerard how he would curse at me. But what I didn't tell him is that he used to beat me up as well. Oh God, maybe it's true. Maybe I am a freak.

Then I hear the front door open and I hear Bandit's happy voice and Gerard's laughter. They walk in. Gerard immediately sees something is wrong. He tells Bandit to go to her room for a minute, and I guess she can sense something is not right as well, because all she does is nod and walk upstairs. Gerard walks towards me. "Baby? Are you okay? Who is this?"

My mom starts to laugh. "Oh my God. You're gay? Of course... I should've known. That explains why you've always been such a fuck up. You know what? I'm leaving. I don't even want money from a freak like you-"

Gerard walks towards her angrily, and she shuts her mouth. "I don't know who the heck you think you are, but shut your fucking mouth and leave us alone." he hisses at her. My mom makes a noise of disapproval at him. "Gladly." She walks past him, towards me. She stares at me for a couple of seconds. "Go ahead. Go crawl on your knees for him. Faggot." she snaps. Gerard growls at her, and I can see how much he is trying not to attack her. She grins at him, and then she leaves.

The moment I hear the front door fall shut, I break down crying. Gerard quickly guides me to the couch, sits down and pulls me onto his lap. I bury my head against his chest. "Frankie... Who was that?"

"My mother..." I slowly manage to say. Gerard sighs and kisses my forehead. "Sugar... Nothing she said was true. Okay? She doesn't know anything about this."

And that's when I completely break down. "Why can't they just love me! I've always tried so hard! I tried so hard to be perfect and all they did was yell at me and hit me and-"

And I said too much.

Gerard gasps. "They hit you?" he whispers softly. I bite my lips and nod. "M-my dad..."

"Oh baby... Oh god I am so sorry..." he slowly whispers. I shrug. "They only wanted the best for me..."

"Frankie... Stop defending them. They have been horrible to you. They still are! There is nothing wrong with you..."

And then Bandit walks downstairs. I quickly wipe away my tears, but Bandit is smart. She walks towards me and hugs me. "Is the mean woman gone?"

"Y-yeah..." I whisper quietly. She looks at me worriedly. "Why was she so angry?" Gerard smiles softly at her. "She thinks Frank is weird for being in love with a boy."

"Why?"

Gerard sighs. "Some people think that two boys can't be in love. That it's wrong." he tries to explain. Bandit frowns. "But it isn't wrong! Right?" Gerard smiles at her. "It isn't. But the mean woman did not understand. She is gone now. But Frank is sad. Do you know a happy song to cheer him up?"

Bandit nods and immediately and starts singing. I smile when I hear her sweet voice. I still feel like shit, and I know I'll feel bad for the rest of the day, and that Gerard and I will need to talk about this but for now, this helps.