This Man

PRECIOUS ZIKHALI

#34

REGRET CHAPTER

ZIKHALI HOMESTEAD

Patience and her mother were trying so hard to search the money with no availability. It was getting frustrating day by day.

"You are definitely a useless child. How did I give birth to a dumb child like you? Sometimes I ask myself if is there a possibility that you switched at the hospital, maybe they gave me a wrong child. One simple task I ask you to do and you fail to dismally. Ay Maan!" MaNgwane blurts out spitting Vernon. The trip that she planned has gone to waste.

"You are also useless, I'm tired of being your door mat. You only love me when it suits you. Maybe you are not even my biological mother. You have never been a good mother to me. You always taught me how to throw myself at rich man for surviving. You told me to resent my own blood sister's for your own selfish reasons. No sane parent would make their child do things that you made me do." Patience.

"So you are now judging my parenting skills as a mother?" MaNgwane asks.

"Yes, I judge you and I will forever judge you. Your parenting skills are worser than a dog itself. You forced me to do a course I hate somuch, you made me do something that suits your status. You made me steal the lobola money because you wanted to go on vacation," the family gasp in shock and the cousin smiles. "I love teaching with all of my heart but no you mother dearest made be do what's best for you. I'm sure you even planning on how my husband should fuck me, which position is the best. I withdraw from school a year ago, do you wanna know why? Because I failed dismally. It's high time I pursue my dream, it's time to do what I do best. If you.………." A hot slap landed on her face. Patience held her cheek unbelievably. She shook her head with tears streaming down her face. She took all of her belongings and walked out without looking back.

"Yoooohhh so MaNgwane you are the culprit. I'm sure you were laughing your lungs when us fools were turning this house upside down looking for the money that you stole. I also blame your parenting skills. Look at the result. You cannot turn a hood rat into a wife." Buyisile says looking at the weeping MaNgwane who was seated on the corner crying her sorrows.

"The golden child madoda, awu ma10K," cousin. "She's gone just like that ay bandla."

"That's what you get for stealing what's not yours to begin with. You stole what belonged to me you piece of shit. I can't believe I even listened to you Buyisile the time you told me that my first wife is barren. You all took part into destroying my first marriage. I trusted you to have my back as you were suppose to, like siblings do for each other. I stayed in this marriage feeling trapped and unhappy. You told me to let my fisrt wife to suffer because of your wickedness. My first wife didn't suffer alone, I also suffered and still suffering. I will never forgive for this not now not ever. And wena I want that money before noon or else you will go back home in corpse!" With that said Ngwane stormed out of the room.

He walked down the gravel road thinking of the choices he made. He resents MaNgwane Patience's mother with everything in him. He still loves his first wife with every fibre in him. He still remembers that cosy spot where they use to chill whenever she went to fetch water from the river. That peaceful beautiful place brought back all the memories.

"What have I done?" He cried to himself. This is not the life he imagined for himself. This is not the life he expected. How did he get here? Why did he allow his siblings to take control over his life? His the oldest of them but yet he acts like his the youngest. Than there's the sweet of them all, a woman who is a complete opposite of her name Zondiwe their last born. Despite the drinking problem that she has, there's a sweet woman under that drunkard. The death of their brother hit hard on Zondiwe cause they were very close to one another. Those news that happened 35 year's ago ruined Zondiwe's future. Till today she hasn't healed, she still cries herself to sleep.

"Ow God please forgive me," he continues to cry harder, he didn't mean to shoot her, he didn't mean to do what he did and now their sister is missing. It's because of him. He shot her mistakenly for telling the truth, the truth hurts. No one likes to be reminded of the failures and past mistakes.
He buried his face on his hands and screamed his lungs out making the birds to fly away. His life was mingless without his first wife. He doesn't even want to think of his two other daughters. Which father abandons their kids?

____________

Back at the house Buyisile picked up a vase and smashed it on MaNgwane's head repeatedly after they had a heated argument about the money.

"What have you done?" One of the cousin's asks looking at Buyisile who had blood on her hands. "You killed her! You killed her!"

"I didn't mean to." Buyisile.

"She needs to go to the hospital, she's loosing so much blood."

The uncle checked her pulse and sigh emotionally, "it's too late she's gone." He says.

"I didn't mean to kill her. Ow God please forgive me." Buyisile sinks down letting out a painful piercing cry. This family has turned upside down, and nothing good seems to come out of them.

MLUNGISI ZONDO

Death is all I prefer at this moment. It's true when they say another man's trash is another man's treasure. I treated Precious like trash….   she picked herself up and moved on by finding someone better, better than me. After the humiliation I put her through she didn't back down. How will I ever look her in the eyes and apologize. To even think I poured her with cold water and called her all sorts of names. With that clumsiness she found herself a man that is not afraid to show her in public. Her last words are still fresh they haunt me till now.

She qouted 'i ain't give up on you, I have had enough. There's a difference. I held on to you for the longest and all you did was to hurt me repeatedly. I ended up putting you before me and I lost myself. You stopped doing the things that made me fall inlove with you. Yet, I was giving you my all but shit was never enough for you. I was the one who loved you even though you've given me a thousand reasons not to.'

I've cheated on Precious a countless times and she forgave and still loved me wholeheartedly. What did I do? I thanked her with a plate full of shit. She's one of a kind, a rare breeze.

"What are you thinking about that's making you cry?" That's my mother, I didn't even realise I was crying. She comes closer with a busket full of fruits. The look on her face says it all I guess I have to tell her.

"Precious is married." I tell her and she just laughs outloud.

"Ay suka yini, did the bus travel with your mind?"

"I saw her today, she's married to my boss Hendry Lucas." I inform her and she stops laughing, I guess the seriousness in my voice caught her off guard.

"What? How? When?" She asks fifty questions at the same time and I just shrugg my shoulders.

"I don't know.… It hurts ma, it hurts deeply. Precious was my everything but I took her for granted. I thought she was too naive for me and guess what another man saw a worth in her. I lost a diamond while chasing stones. How do I come out from this? How do I pretend that everything is okay when I know deep down I'm broken, and worstly I broke myself." I sigh.

"Is this the reason why you are in hospital?" My mother asks.

"Yes, after my boss introduced me to Precious as his wife I couldn't hold back the shock. Everything was suffocating me and I needed a space to let my lungs breathe. I ran out of the building and I found myself being knocked down by a bus and that's how I landed in hospital."

She sighs and takes my hand, "I'm not going to say I told you so. I loved Precious and I still love her, she was a perfect woman for you. She respected you and loved you dearly. Her clumsiness was the cuteness of her soul, a woman with a heart of Gold. You lost out on diamond son. What you need to do now is to apologize to that young girl for breaking her heart into pieces. I know she will forgive you because she doesn't hold a grudge. But first you need to forgive yourself so you could heal, you need to move on from this pain. She wasn't your soulmate and I believe their is someone out there for you who would love you the way she did or maybe even beyond. And when you find that love make sure that you hold on to that feeling because nothing last forever. Free your heart son." She smiles warmly. What would I do without my mother's love. It's a pity her husband died whilst she was still pregnant with me. She's everything I need in a mother.