The Maze Runner Imagines: Newt (Thomas Brodie Sangster) Book 2

(comfort letter) affectionately Newt X

(self harm and suicide talked about heavily)

Dear y/n.
This is honestly the first letter I have ever written atleast that I can recall, so I hope it's alright.
I know You don't like to talk about this, I know you'd rather sweep it under the rug but please if nothing else read this letter tonight.
Love, I'm worried.
I know you'll just tell me not to worry, push me away and go back to your hut and I don't blame you for wanting to be alone, this place can be isolating I can't imagine how it must be for you.
But I wrote this so you can't just ignore me and run off because I need you to know,
I'm worried about you,
You barely show up for meals anymore,
You barely come to work,
Everytime I see you I could swear you've been crying.
I know what's wrong love, you... Haven't hidden it from me.
I've seen the scars in your arms, I've noticed how you've stopped wearing shorts and skirts, and only wear your long hoodies now, I can see how broken up you are behind your eyes and y/n it break's my heart to see you this way.
I'd you'll let me I'd kiss ever one of your scars better, I'd wipe away every year that drips from those beautiful eyes, and I'd hold you close so you never felt this bad again.
I'm not going to tell you I understand or that I relate or anything like that, because I don't, I don't know what your going thought I don't know how you feel, all I know is that your hurting and I was once too.
I remember what it was like when I was bad, I shut everyone out, barely ate, barely slept, I wasn't even me anymore, and I don't want you to get to that point where you don't recognize yourself, and I don't recognize you, because your so beautiful, and so amazing not just physically but your personality is so beautiful and so special and unique I couldn't bare to think what would happen to it if you truly began to believe these horrible things about yourself.
I know you think there true but I swear there not. If you don't believe yourself, you believe me don't you?
I don't want you to ever feel as bad as I did,
When I was like that, I was cutting every night, till my wrists where red with blood, I didn't cry, I didn't scream I was numb to how painful it was, I barely ate only when alby and minho made me, even then I'd throw it up before bed, it got so bad that... I climbed half way up those stupid vines and I jumped.
It's how I got this bloody limp love.
And why did I do all that? Because a part of me took over, a part of me became the dominant voice, the voice screaming at me that... I wanted to die.
That I would be better off dead, that the glade would be better without me, that I deserved nothing better then a painful death.
And that is a voice that of you give it chance, if you give it the opportunity it will drown out all over voices in your head and make you believe it.
And... I can't bare to see you get that that state, I don't know what state you are now but please, come have dinner with me tonight, just you and me a little picnic in the deadheads, and we can talk about it, if you want to and if you don't, I'll happily just hold your hand till morning.
I know how horrible it can feel, and how isolating it is.
But please your beautiful, your smart, you can hold a drink better then any boy I've been met, you can make flowers grow without even trying, you can do that thing I don't understand with a pen you know the thing I mean the magic trick I still don't understand how you do.

I know it's hard, and I can't say I can't take the pain away, I can't say that voice will be gone forever, I can't say I can make it all better, I can't say we are gonna get out of here, I can't say if you'll ever see your family again, I can't say if any of us will ever make it out of here alive, but all I can say is, I was somewhere like this not so long ago and if you want my help, I will happily give it.

Honestly y/n, I don't know if we'll ever get out of here, and that's alot of why I felt so bad, but now... Thinking about it more looking back I don't care as much. But I care about you, I don't want to see you in pain and I don't want to see you hurt yourself for any reason at all, and if we are stuck here... Then I'd like to be stuck here with you.

so please love just come and have dinner with me tonight and I promise I will do whatever it takes to make you feel better and help you though this so one day the two of us can sit together look at our scars and see how beautiful they are and how unique they are and how there truly amazing battle scars that prove were stronger then the weight of the world.

Look after yourself love, please.

Affectionately Newt X

Ps. Sundown at the clearing tonight if you wanted to come.