Before I get hurt

On the verge of collapsing

Ok loves y'all are safe for this chapter. Minimal talk of old alcohol addiction and cigarettes. But I figured y'all aren't that innocent. Anyway enjoy this chapter.

Everly's POV:

I walked into my dorm and threw myself onto my bed laughing hysterically from what had just occurred in the classroom. Her face when I walked out was priceless! I was so busy that I didn't even hear piper trying to speak to me. She threw a pillow at my head "Everly!!" I stopped and looked at her barely able to control myself "what?!" She came and gave me a little smack in the head "what are you high or something?" I laughed "no dummy". Piper smiled "good as long as you haven't been drinking or smoking" I rolled my eyes.

Piper was mom patrol now since Timothy was gone. When I was younger I smoked and drank because that's all I'd ever known. I'd steal it from purses and alcohol shelves in foster families homes. They were all so dumb they never noticed a pack of cigarettes missing or the Vodka from the basement. When I met Timothy he helped me rehab. I drank here and there but never a lot and a cigarette hasn't touched my lips in years.....although one does sound good right now...

Piper shook me "hello earth to Everly?" I came back "what yeah? Oh no I haven't hit that rock bottom yet" she tilted her head "then what's so funny?" I snorted "fucking with people is fun....I probably shouldn't be because I'm just going to screw myself over in the end but hey what the hell! You only know a hot Russian teacher once right?" The minute that slipped out of my mouth I hit myself in the head. Piper sat there shocked then grabbed me "your fucking around with the Russian teacher?" I rolled my eyes "more like she's fucking around with me. She's trying to get all dominant and shit so I'm just playing her game" Piper didn't know what to think but she needed to save me from this shit quick. "Look Eve your just getting out of a breakup. You can hurt yourself. You really shouldn't do that" I knew that was true. I acted really bubbly when I was in pain and at this point I don't know what had gotten into me I just knew I was really unstable. I sighed "heartbreak is a part of my life piper, anyways if this goes sideways I'll just do what I always do. Plaster a smile on my face and keep on walkin, besides I'll just take it out on the punching bags at the gym" Pipers concern grew, she could tell I was going downhill again "I'm going to call mom, maybe she can help" I rolled my eyes "SHES YOUR MOM PIPER. JUST BECAUSE THE PAPERS SAY SO DOESN'T MEAN SHE REALLY IS!" I curled up in a ball "I love you guys and I'm sorry but wherever I go pain and agony follows, nothing lasts forever with me, I don't want to hurt you" piper was crying. I'm a terrible friend, sister, daughter. I'm a terrible anything at this point. Piper grabbed my hand "you know I love you right?" I couldn't help but smile "I love you piper" she held me close to her. Knowing that right about now I just needed someone to hold me. She sighed "I'm sorry I can't change your past. You know I'd do it if I could" I hugged her "I know you would dory"

I would have loved to put a cigarette in between my lips but I couldn't let Piper down. I'm on the verge of collapsing but I had to hold it together for piper. It would kill her to see me fall back, so.....for now....while the pain was still bearable.....I'd let myself die on the inside so I could keep piper. I had to keep her in my life. The minute she'd leave and I would be alone. I laughed to myself. I already felt alone but this wasn't like I was feeling empty.

I hated it when people said they were empty and couldn't feel anything. To me empty is such an understatement. People always say they can't feel anything and it could be a gift to be empty. No pain right? Wrong. So wrong. It's not a gift. Emptiness feels like your being crushed. Emptiness is you feeling too much and being so full of emotions that you don't have time to process shit because your brain is too busy trying to comprehend the crap that was just dumped on your shoulders. Your being crushed under the weight of the pain. Our brains can only understand so much in so little time. So when we're told that a loved one just died or something like that we don't know how to react. When we feel empty we're buffering, crashing like a computer because the address we were supposed to load was just too much for us. So when I say I'm empty I mean I'm suffocating. And right now I was just feeling alone. I was on the verge of feeling empty but I wasn't there yet.

I peeled away from piper and decided I'd go to the gym so I can take my mind off of everything that was going on. Besides I would like to get an ice bath in. I took a deep breath to suppress my pain and emotions and smiled. "I'm going to the gym for an ice bath ok Piper? I'll be back soon. You want me to pick anything up?" Piper hugged me "Panera bread if that's ok" I kissed her head "will do dory" she latched onto my hand "what sis?" She looked in my eyes "be careful and if you smell like the slightest bit of smoke I'll kill you myself" I squeezed her hand "I'll be careful I promise" I left and headed to the gym.

As I was walking I felt someone grab my arm. I turned to hit them but they swiped my hand away. It was a woman I could tell by her hands but she was really fucking strong. I turned to see who had me in their grip. It was professor Romanoff. This was going to be just dandy.

This was a very interesting chapter. Sorry if it doesn't make sense. Everly is just really unstable in this one. Talk to me what did y'all think. And any ideas on where it should go next?

As always: I love you all and thank you