"The time Elizabeth and I spent together was all a lie?! An illusion?!" Let me tell you where i was. I was on a playground with Gintoki, Kagura, Shinpachi, Katsura and a female Elizabeth. Well, the name is female i know but we all know that the person inside the costume isn't. If it wasn't for Zura's idiocy, the name would have changed. I was rushed to be here after a getting a very disturbing call from Gintoki. There is a legendary mercenary tribe called Renho, the white devils. Elizabeth was one of the captains in that tribe who was ordered to infiltrate the earth by pretending to be Zura's pet while sending information about this planet back to the main fleet. Renho's plan? To capture Earth. This has to be a joke. Eli would never do that.
"You bastards! You trust that slutty woman more than Elizabeth?! I will not accept that! Elizabeth will never invade earth!" Zura shouted at us. "Wait a minute, Zura. We-" before i could finish speaking, Zura was pushed to the ground and shadow fell over his face. "Oh? What makes you think I'm slutty? Why are you cooperating with this slutty woman?" the female Elizabeth a.k.a Elizabeth's ex named Fumiko was standing near Zura's head, her costume blowing in front of his face. I could see Zura's face all flushed red. "I-I'm NOT cooperating with you! And I'm NOT fighting as a Joi patriot defending his planet!" his voice broke "I'm going to save my friend! I may have a 1000 doubts but i choose to believe in the drink that we shared. He must have his reasons. He must have been forced into his current situation. In that case, i will cross the galaxy and rivers of bloods to save him!"
"Zura.. i would have praised you for your words but the rivers of blood are flowing down your face" i shoved tissues up his nose crouching down. "He's not as innocent as you think" Fumiko moved away from him "But that's fine. In any case, we share the same goal. If you don't want earth to be destroyed, you should work with me" she crossed her arms. "Screw that! Why are we supposed to help you when you're the ones invading us? Do you even know how to write 'invasion' in Japanese?" Gintoki shouted as he sat on the swing. "Shall we have a round, boy? And i don't mean on a bed" Fumiko winked at me. Huh? "Don't call me boy! And stop acting like you're Fujiko Mine! You're like the tub and rubber duckie in one!" he shouted again but this time, in the same way as Zura, he was pushed down the swing. The only difference was Fumiko standing on the swing.
"Oh, didn't you notice? There's an angel above you!" Fumiko said excitedly as she swung. Gintoki's face didn't change colour but there was a change in his expression. "I prefer being on top. Want me to take you to heaven?" she laughed. "That's too bad. I prefer to take the lead" their roles changed and now Gintoki was hitting the woman's backside with a seesaw. The lady moaned seductively. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN?!" shouting those words, i threw two rocks at each of them with my foot while covering both Shinpachi's and Kagura's eyes. Zura laughed at them while hanging onto my waist. "Anyways, we work together. So now, we need a plan" i said crossing my arms. "You can use me as map then!" Fumiko said excitedly and two men were immediately laying under her, their faces covered by the skirt. Kagura also decided to join them.
"Well, if this is space.." Zura started talking. "What are you talking about? A woman's body has always been like space" Gintoki corrected him. "Space? All i see is a forest" Kagura commented looking closely squinting her eyes. That's it. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?!" I kicked the men's faces and pulled Kagura from there. "And you!" i looked at Fumiko "who ever the hell you are, stay in your limits. This ain't your planet. Otherwise I'll make it so that no one can get inside your bushes" i glared at her. She fell on her ass in fear. Geez, how many weird people are there outside Earth? And she even dared to seduce Gin and Zura. Poor virgins. Wait..they are virgins, right? i looked at the men who were wiping their bloodied nose. Right..?
"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! BLAST THIS EARTH ALL YOU WANT, RENHO!" Shinpachi shouted. Ahh, he's jealous that he didn't get to be inside. Suddenly a bomb fell on the ground which blew us away. "THEY'RE ATTACKING ALREADY! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Shinpachi shouted in worry and then hid behind me. So did Kagura and the rest. I saw an airship coming towards us. Brace yourself, Hanae. You can do it. "Captain! We were able to remove the obstacle!" someone shouted through the microphone. "Ahahahahaha, really now? Let's land the- ARGH!" someone fell down from the ship. Wait.. that's- "What are you doing? Do you wanna destroy Edo before they do?" Mutsu gritted through her teeth. "Ahahaahahaha, it's been forever, huh? I love the air on earth! Ahahahahaha, oh Hanae! There you are!" Sakamoto came towards me and engulfed me in a hug. "Good to see you too, buddy" i hugged him back. Well, now i guess, we do have a plan.
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To be continued.
