Gin - We were attacked by bigfoot and chupacabras. We tried to fight back but.. DAMN THOSE UMAs! I'll make them pay!
Kon - UMA? Impossible.. what are you even saying?
Kag - Muwahahahaha! Everything is UMAs fault! Right, Sho-chan?
Kat (in a girly voice) - Yup, leader!
I rolled my eyes at the lies that spout out of their mouth. One of them messed up for sure. "Alright, give him to me. Let me check whether he has any serious injuries" after saying that, Hijikata and Sougo sat Shogun down on the floor and leaned his body against the wall. I checked his face, there were scratches on it but nothing serious. And of course, i couldn't check inside the fur because he's naked inside and it stinks so I didn't touch it at all. I tore a piece of my clothing and then used it to wipe his face clean with a bit of warm water. "What about me?" Gintoki asked. "Me too. I guess i had a pretty big fall" Hijikata added. "I think i broke a few bones. Please check me as well, neesan" Sougo was the last one to talk until i glared at the group. They all stood shut. A while later, the Shogun opened his eyes.
Sho - Where am i..? And why am i here..? he asked looking around the cabin
His memory has been damaged most probably. What do we do now?!
Sho - Kondo, answer me.
Kondo-san was sweating profusely as he looked at us all, hoping for someone to answer. Nope, not me.
Gin - Those idiots brought you to the mountains to hunt UMA. But while we were following Big Foot's footsteps, we ran into a blizzard and got split up. We all got stranded for playing along with this farce of yours.
Oii! What the actual fuck?!
Sho - Is that true? he looked at me with a sad expression.
I swung my fist back to hit Gintoki in the balls before answering the Shogun, yes.
Sho - I don't believe this.. I've put the lives of my people in danger to satisfy an irrational whim. I am not qualified to rule. He bursted the doors open and went out of the cabin. Heavens! If this storm is meant as my punishment, i offer my meager life as appeasement!
Kat (in a girly voice) - Sure, Shogun!
Hearing Zura's words made me and Gintoki to stomp him on the stomach.
Kon - This wasn't your fault, Shogun-sama! Amateurs can't predict the weather!
Me - In any case, we should be glad that we're all together now. Help will come so please come inside Sho-chan. I called him and it wasn't long until he obeyed me.
Hij - Listen up guys, we can't do anything until this blizzard stops so sit tight and huddle together for warmth. Yell when you see someone nodding off caz if you fall asleep, you'll die.
Sou - Uh, how are we supposed to huddle together?
Hijikata then explained the plan. The Shogun would be on the inside and then the girls and kids and lastly the men. Even though i was hesitating slightly to stand near the Shogun because of the smell, my feet moved on it's own. Suddenly, Otae pulled me by the arm.
Otae - Doesn't it smell? Like a wash rag drenched in spoiled milk?
Kag - Yes, i know right?
Me (whispering) - You two shouldn't say such stuffs.
Kag - But you're starting to tear up, neesan. I don't want anything happen to you.
Me - N-No, really Kagura-chan. I am fine. It's just the- something rised up to my neck which caused my eyes to go wide. I immediately gulped it down. I couldn't make a scene here. See? I'm fine..
Otae went over to Hijikata to tell him to ask Shogun to remove the bear fur he was wearing. And perhaps hearing her 'whisper', he immediately took them off and was just in his underwear. The Shogun has changed his objective! He's seeking a different kind of warmth!
Gin - Don't you think it still smells? I wonder what that is..
His eyes! You're clearly looking at his underwear! Let the guy atleast wear his underwear!
Hij (whispering) - Hey, stop it! The Shogun's pretending to stretch while checking if his armpits smell! Stop it! Don't hurt his pride anymore!
Gin - We have to ask him to take that off. He pointed towards the Shogun's underwear.
And it didn't even take a millisecond for the Shogun to take off his underwear. He's fully naked! AGAIN! I hurriedly covered Otae's and Kagura's eyes.
Kag - That's gross. I don't wanna go near him.
Hij (whispering) - Want me to kill you?! He took everything off because you kept complaining! Now, huddle up together! The Shogun needs warmth for his body and heart!
Me (whispering) - I am NOT going there even if you threaten me. I'll stay right here.
Gin & Hij - Alright, stay with me.
After they said the words in unision, they both looked at each other with murderous intent.
Sou - Leave it to us. We'll go there.
Shin - Yeah. You guys are really exaggerating your words.
Acting all cool and stuff, they both walked towards Shogun. Right when they were about to stand near him, they immediately puked.
Sou - S-Sorry, China girl..
Kag - It's fine, if you understand now.
Shin - We need to cover that up.
Kag - I have an idea.
I don't know from where she got it but Kagura pulled out a turtle neck and then made Shogun wear it along with the help of Sougo. Doesn't matter! That thing is still dangling!
Kon - Change of plans. The adults will have to get things going.
Kat - We stand near Shogun while the girls and kids are outside.
Gin - There's nothing else to do. That's the only way.
Hij - Yeah, we have no choice. Throwing the cigarette bud on the ground and pressing on it, he walked towards the Shogun along with the other men.
The first person who stood near Shogun, turned the Shogun towards another person so that the Shogun's Shogun don't point towards him since it was erected due to cold. Due to cold, right..? The second person did the same to the third person and the wheel moved like that. They spun the Shogun so much that at one point, the Shogun bursted out of the ceiling and flew out of the cabin like a helicopter. Ho.. magnificent. "Now's not the time to gawk in awe!" i was pulled from my trance by my wrist by Hijikata before we all rushed after the Shogun. We all ran out of the cabin and saw a familiar group of people walking towards the cabin. "That's the Shogun! Stop him!" Kondo-san shouted in worry. "We're saved! Yes!" the kids and Otae cheered in joy. "Looks the Shinsengumi isn't as useless as their heads" Gintoki smirked looking at Hijikata as he put his arm around my shoulder. "You..! All of this wouldn't have happened if you guys weren't here" Hijikata gritted through his teeth. I looked at him in shock. "No! I didn't mean you! I meant the Odd Jobs! It isn't about you! Waittt!"
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Thank you for reading this chapter!
Hope you enjoyed it!
