nothing near clarity

chapter 25

when the texts are bold, it means they're speaking in english

용서받은

Saying that I had a nice sleep last night would be a great lie. Despite having the time to talk with my therapist, Mrs. Im yesterday, I was still troubled by the fact that a close friend of mine is annoyed at me.

I actually shared this to Mrs. Im, and she told me that I should apologize. And running away from my problems wouldn't help me at all. She also told me that I should face it whenever I'm ready. But the question is, when will I even be ready to face that Japanese guy again?

I don't know how to approach him, and it looks like he has no plans of approaching me too.

"Yah! Stella! Focus!" Nari eonnie yelled at me, she was clearly pissed off at me too for being not myself as we're practicing. I was startled, I really don't like it when people yell at me so I immediately apologized and decided to just focus on practicing instead of thinking about that certain guy.

After practicing our dance, that's when Nari eonnie went to me, a water bottle in her hand. She handed the water bottle to me and I accepted it gladly.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you. Just tired," she explained and I nodded. She has the right to do that, and I do believe that I actually deserve it. My mind's been floating, and I'm not even doing great in dancing. My personal problems shouldn't get in the way of practice.

"No, it's alright. I'm sorry too," I told her and that's when she gave me a playful grin before tackling me to the floor for a tight hug. And instead of pushing her away, I just let her hug me. It's so warm, and I needed something warm and comforting.

"I want to go out! Without our manager of course." Eunkyung eonnie exclaimed, a smirk on her face, making me roll my eyes. She's really such a bad influence, since we're basically told we aren't allowed to go out when it's morning because the fans of treasure sunbaenim are outside taking videos and pictures. If ever we go out at this time, then we'll get caught.

We even have to go to the company at 3 am just so we wouldn't be seen by thise fans. And we'll leave when it's 11 PM.

The only way we could actually go out is if we would wear some clothes that will hide our body, a cap and a mask. And of course, we should be with our manager at all times because we might get asked by the fans if we're just by ourselves. Also, the back door of the building could also be used, but as of now, it's closed. But according to others, that's where Bigbang sunbaenim enter so that other people won't see them. And despite of the back door still close, they could use it. They're basically the boss here.

"Let's go out!" Eunkyung eonnie told me, her enthusiasm is showing with the way she's shaking my right arm. Her lips is in a wide smile, and I don't know if I should be concerned or what. I've been known to be that trainee who follows the rules, and I can't believe I'm friends with someone who loves to break them.

"You do know that we'll get in trouble because of this, right?" I asked her, clearly not having whatevet her plan was. Despite being in the fixed lineup for the debuting team, I still can't go around and break the rules. That's just not me.

Eunkyung eonnie whined before hugging me and even started to shake me. I closed my eyes before pinching the bridge of my nose. I let out a deep breath to calm myself. I'm no patient person, but I have to because Eunkyung eonnie doesn't like it when people snap at her. And I don't want to do that to her. She's irritating, but I won't go that low and snap at her just so she would shut up.