nothing near clarity

chapter 2

연수생의 삶

📍Seoul, South Korea

(currently at YG building: trainee's building)

Walking inside the building was always my hated part in the morning. Well, the reason was because almost all the other trainees look at us. It's weird because they see us as some sort of the idols among all the trainees because of our so called "charms and abilities." I didn't like to be treated this way because I was nowhere near to being an idol because I believe that I lack in a lot of things. I'm sure that if it weren't for my rap skills, I would've been not in the debuting team at all, since it is a fact that if you're a trainee in team a, then you'll definitely debut.

But of course, not all trainees from team a are able to make it to the final line up.

The other thing I hated was that going inside this building gives me this feeling of nostalgia and it was as if there was something that's constantly hitting my chest while I watch the interior designs of it and the pictures of the yg artists from the eldest to the recent ones, it's just that, it's reminding of the good old times.

"Some YG artists will be here to watch your performance. Please do your best," our manager said sternly, before opening the door where our monthly evaluation will take place.

"I'm nervous again," Min Jee said when we finally entered the dance studio. We were the first to enter because the other trainees will enter after us.

The room was empty, it was quiet. It felt as if we were animals that are now inside the slaughter house, who are just waiting for themselves to get killed. Though our so called slaughter house screams wealth. The expensive wooden floor and the LED lights are enough proof that YG entertainment is nowhere near to going bankrupt.

And going back to our topic, monthly evaluation in YG entertainment will never not be easy. To be precise, it's actually really terrifying. Knowing that one mistake can change your whole life forever.

Monthly evaluations should also be taken seriously, that's why most of the trainees tend to act all tough and silent while waiting for the producers to take their seats where they will watch us perform and give us some of their feedbacks. But because Eun Kyung is such a talkative person, she made the room go loud just because of her annoying voice.

"Our maknae will sing today!" she shouted then the others laugh, I even had to cover my face because of embarrassment. She's pertaining to me, and she's really loud, it annoys me.

"Please calm down," Nari told her, trying to calm our member, but because she's Lee Eun Kyung, she didn't listen and just started talking to the other girls.

The next set of trainees entered, and we all stood up to greet them. They were the ones who are called the "subs", it's a short term for substitute. They're being trained the way we are trained because they can be the sub of a member from our team if ever one of us back down, or if someone messes up with the rules.

Min Jee eonnie is from that team, and though I'm sad that she replaced our former member, I'm still glad we have her now. She's a great dancer, and she can also rap and sing.

After all the other girl trainees came in, the producers, dance instructor, voice instructor finally came in. My heart was pounding rapidly as I watch them take their seats.