nothing near clarity

epilogue

끝

I was in awe as I watch the crowd creating a white ocean for us. It's so pretty that I couldn't help but to ask my manager from the backstage for my phone so that I can take a photo and a few videos of it. My hands automatically went to my chest when we heard our fans singing the last chorus of one of our debut songs.

"After 5 years and they're all still so addicted to that song!" Eunkyung joked, before she went to me so that we can hold hands. Nari, Mulan and Hiraya also went near us so that we can all walk towards the crowd while holding each other's hands.

"Hiraya! Choi Nari! Wang Mulan! Choi Eunkyung! Kim Hanbyul! The Elites!"

We all smiled upon hearing our fans' fanchant. I feel so fucking happy right now that I could cry. This was our last concert for our World Tour. And it's in Korea, it's actually an encore, but we all agreed that we should head back to Seoul for the last stop since it's where we started after all. And after this concert, the talks about our contract renewing would be brought up again. It's been five years since our debut, but I can't seem to let all these go just yet. I don't want to leave our fans.

"We're together forever!" Hiraya exclaimed, as if she's already assuring the fans and even us her members that everything will be alright. Our fans screamed even louder after Hiraya screamed those words. Of course, they are also aware about our contract already expiring.

We all went nearer to our fans in the VIP standing, and I even took one of our fans' phone to take a video in it. I said the words 'i love you' while jamming to the our song playing right now. I returned the phone, and I saw someone also handing her phone to me but I immediately said no because it was an iphone, and we're currently being sponsored by Samsung so we must only take the Samsung ones as what our manager told us.

"She only accepts Samsung, bitch!" Another fan yelled, and I couldn't help but laugh along our fans who find the one who screamed that very funny.

When it was the final chorus of our final song, I waved at them before going back to my position, because I remembered that we need to dance for the last part, but as I was singing my part, I was shocked when my members suddenly called for me, and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that they were already in the back. I'm doomed. I forgot that we need to go back since the stage would be lowered as soon as the song ends.

I waved at our fans once more before running to my eonnies who were calling for me with smiled on their faces because of my silly mistake. And it felt like I was back five years ago. When we were all still trainees, and I could imagine their younger faces as I run towards them. I really hope we can still perform as 5 members. Because my back was faced to the crowd, I took this opportunity to cry when it was only my members who can see me.

I cried harder when they all went to hug me. Please let us stay for a few more years together. I can't lose them just yet.

* * *

Our tour was a success. It was the most successful tour for a fifth gen KPOP Group ever. But it wasn't only our tour that has been our achievement in the past few years. We were also invited to Coachella alongside our Blackpink sunbaenim, next was most of our music videos have reached 1 billion views just like our sunbaenim. We also became the KPOP group with the most wins in music shows, especially in MAMA where we always receive the daesangs for the past four years in our career. It was actually crazy because we didn't expect all these to happen so fast.

It felt as if our success was too fast that it would only be natural for us to not renew our contract anymore since we already experienced it all: winning awards, having amazing songs, being known worldwide. And yet, I can't seem to find myself to stop it. I don't want to leave our fans behind. And I don't want to leave my eonnies too.