nothing near clarity

chapter 27

long chapter ahead.

저축이 필요 없다

Kim Mansion. The only place where human eyes would be able to see who our mother really is. It contains everything she loved, it was as beautiful and as elegant as her. It's the only place left where I'll be able to remember those memories I have with her.

But despite it being so beautiful, it was also tragic. Kim Seolhee, a singer and actress also known as our mother died in her own mansion. And all of her kids were not here when she took her last breath, when the light in her eyes finally faded.

"Good evening, ms. Hanbyul. May I take your coat?" an unfamiliar voice said, and I saw a guy with a familiar logo in the left side of his suit, making me realize that this guy is probably Hyunjae's secretary or just a worker in the company. He was the first to greet me once I finally entered the mansion.

It was a ten minute walk from the gate to the front door, and it was hard especially since I'm wearing heels. None of my brothers even picked me up, truly gentlemen. Or maybe they expected me to take the company's car towards here, but no. I will never let anything connected to my work to ever enter here.

This house is very special to me. It will always be. It's not because of the dazzling chandeliers hanging around, or its victorian style nor the beautiful paintings above the ceiling. Yes, it's all so magical and priceless, but the memories here were far more important than any designs and wealth this mansion screams.

Memories here with all of us present is quite rare, but I remember all of them. And of course, how can I forget those moments with just me and mom?

"Haven't I told you to practice saying 'no' everytime people try to persuade you to do things for them, Stella?" my mom's voice was stern and it scares me. The way her eyes were glaring at me as if I did something so wrong.

"But they said they wouldn't be friends with me anymore if I don't buy them gifts! I can't lose them, mother!" the younger me lashed out, only to earn a slap from doing so.

"Friends that you won't be needing once you enter the industry. You're a trainee, stop being so attached to everybody you meet! Learn how to build walls around you so that people wouldn't abuse your kindness!"

Her harsh voice and the stinging of my right cheek made me tear up. It wasn't the first time my mother slapped me, but it was the first time she slapped me and the reason behind it was because I was being friendly. She would only slap me whenever I don't get to be number one in monthly evaluations. So this was all so new.

"Now you're crying. I didn't raise a weak girl, Stella. Grow up, you're not living in that so called fairy tale of yours anymore. And those friends? Leave them, before they leave you." my mother advised, her hand on my chin to make me look at her even with my eyes that were still crying.

"And what did I say again, my daughter?" she asked, her voice sweet as she dusts off her dress as she looks at me.

"Learn to say no. Build up strong walls and leave my friends before they leave me." I said, and I was proud that I was able to say it without trembling or cracking my voice. Mother would be so proud.

"That's my girl," she whispered, a faint smile on her lips before closing the door of my room, leaving me all alone with tears stained cheeks with a visible hand print on it.

That was also the day I learned to stop being friends with everybody. I was alone for a while, well it was until Eunkyung eonnie came to the company and stayed with me despite me pushing her away.