Our journey 2 || Tom Holland

37. talks

Y/N Pov.:

It's been 5 days since i'm back in london and i didn't talked to Tom. Most of the time i spent my days with my family and at home crying. It's not like i don't want to talk to him, i'm just scared.

My thoughts interrupted me when my phone buzzed. Zendaya called me.

"Hey Z, haven't heard of you a long time." i said.

"So everything is good again ?" she asked.

"What do you mean with everthing ?" i asked.

"You and Tom. I saw the pictures but didn't know if you want to talk about it or had other person to talk to. Sorry if you wanted me to call." she said.

"So it's fine. I didn't talked with people that much. And now we didn't talked." i said.

"Why ? Oh problaby because do filming. Haz told me." she said.

"Well, i'm home since 5 days-"

"Wait what ? Haz told me you were still in LA." she said.

"I didn't told them i was back. I didn't texted or called or had any contact with them since i saw the picture of Tom, and that was early 2 weeks ago. And please don't tell them i'm back in london and that you talked to me." i said.

"Why ?" she asked. "Don't you want to talk to them ?"

"Well of course i would talk to Haz, Harry and the others and i also want to talk to Tom but i just can't. I'm scared of it and i wouldn't know what to say." i said.

"So you just want to ignore him for the rest of your life ? You know that he won't wait for you that long. He would go to LA and look for you, if you wouldn't talk to him soon." she said.

"I know, i think. But he is the one who cheated." i said.

"I know everything that happened at that day and also that he lied to you. But i know that he didn't cheat on purpose. But i think he should tell you everthing and not me." she said.

"Probably. Chris told me to take some days to think about everthing. But i'm just scared about what will happen." i said.

"What do you think will happen ?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"Okay, better question. What do you want to happen ?" she asked again.

"I love him and i trusted him-"

"Trusted ? You don't do anymore ?" she asked.

"I've never trusted a person like that. I never trust a person that much as my family. And i told him that it was okay that she lived with him in germany. And then i see a picture of them kissing. He broke my trust." i said.

"But not on purpose." she said.

"Maybe and maybe he also didn't want it, but he still did. Even tho we would forget everthing that happens and live our happy life together, i would still not trust him that much as i did before." i said.

"Yeah, okay. I can understand that. So you still trust him a little but not like you did before ?" she asked.

"Yeah, exactly." i said.

"Okay, again, because i interrupted you, what do you want to happen ?" she asked again.

"I love him and i need him. This picture broke me like i never thought anything could hurt me that mcluhan anymore. I can't imagine a life without him but i'm scared that the conversation will show that everything we had shouldn't be. That we shouldn't be. That i'm getting angry and distroy everthing or that he does it. I don't know what to do." i said.

"So you still want to be with him." she said.

"Of course, i think. I never loved someone like i loved him. But i don't know if we should do it. It could happen again." i said.

"I know what happened and i can say that it could happen to everyone. It wasn't Toms fault. But you really need to talk to him. He is also really stressed to not hear about you and can't wait for you to be back. He talks about you all the time and makes the worst scenerios in his head." she said.

"What does he say ?" i asked.

"How much he loves you, how much he fucked him, how scared he is, how much he regrets to not tell you, that you know it and that you will hate him for the rest do your life. Not only you can live without him also he can't." she said.

She's right. Not only i suffer under this.

"Okay." i simply said.

"Promise me you will talk to him soon." she said.

"I will." i said. "Also when will you visit us ?"

"Well, Corona chillers right now a little. So if it goes like that longer than i will be there hopefully like in a month or something like that." she said.

"I can't wait to see you again." i said happy.

"Same, and i want you two to have talked at this time." she said.

"We will." i said. "I will go to bed now. It pretty late over here. So hear you soon Z."

"I hope. Bye." she said and we hung up.

Toms Pov.:

"She still doesn't answer my calls." he groaned.

"Call Chris again." Haz said. And he did. It was late over here so they would maybe be already finsihed with filming.

"Tom ? Hi." Chris said.

"Hey Chris. Did i interrupted you guys at something ?" he asked.

"No, you didn't. Just at eating my pasta. What do you want ?" Chris asked.

"Y/N still didn't answered my calls. Is filming still so stressful ? How is she ?" he asked. But on the other side of the call it was quiet. "Chris ?"

"She still didn't talked to you ?" Chris asked.

"No. That's why i'm calling you. Maybe you could tell her to call me back, i miss her." he said.

"Okay, uhm- shit." Chris said and Tom got confused. "It doesn't matter now, she will problaby hate me-"

"Why should she hate you ?" he interrupted him.

"I know from your guys relationship. Y/N knows from the pictures. She came over the day she found out and broke down in my arms." he froze at his words and could say anything excapt listening. "It was 2 days after the picture was taken. She could talk to you over the phone so she didn't. I wanted to have her time so she could think about everthing so we said that we would film longer even tho we didn't. So she is in london the whole time. I told her to take some days to think both everthing but i didn't knew she would take a whole week. But you guys need to talk. I'm sorry for doing this to you but she wanted it like that. So now take the keys to her house and go over there and save your relationship. She was more than just broken when she found out."

He needed to thinks bout everthing. "Okay, thank you. Also for taking care of her. I can say i didn't cheat, the girl just kissed me and after that i pushed her away. I promise you."

"I knew you wouldn't chest like that. But she doesn't know the truth." Chris said.

"Yeah, right. I will go to her right now." he said.

"Do it. Good luck, Tom." Chris said.

"Thanks Chris." he said and hung up.